Unacceptable Losses Part 8 (Final)

halfofone's picture
Submitted by halfofone on Fri, 05/08/2005 - 11:22.

Part 8

Tue, 31/10/2000 - 11:00

18 or NC17

Unacceptable Losses by halfofone
Part 8:
Date added: 2000-10-31 Rating of this chapter: R


TPTB are many. In a perfect world I would be one of them but it's not and I'm not. No infringement of copyright/trade marks or other intellectual property is intended. This story was written for fun and not profit.


Warning: This story includes same sex relationships between women. If you are offended by this or it is illegal where you live or you are underage then please read no further.

Full warnings, credits and disclaimers can be found in the contents page and chapter 1.


The Surface of an M-class planet (somewhere in the Delta Quadrant.)

Neelix let his weight rest on the trunk of a tree and watched Chakotay spread a blanket on the ground. He placed a number of small, decorated stones on the earth around him.

"What are you doing Chakotay?"

The big man smiled at him tolerantly "I am preparing to speak to my animal guide."

Neelix leant back and looked at the dark blue evening sky. Stars were just becoming visible. The single sun had sunk below the horizon. The planet was similar to Talax but no intelligent species had evolved. The mineral resources were plentiful and most of the requirements for restocking the ship could be met here while engineering carried out repairs. Voyager was in poor shape and so were her crew.

Neelix was pleased with the native plant life - several new recipes were promised. A promise greeted with pleasure only by the Bolian contingent on the crew. But the little Talaxian had endeared himself to B'Elanna by volunteering to escort Chakotay to the surface. It was reasonably safe for shore leave and a grateful crew had jumped at the opportunity for some R&R.

Chakotay had accepted the story of being part of a science away team. It had become increasingly difficult finding reasons for him to stay away from the bridge. He became very agitated if he saw B'Elanna in a red command tunic and four pips and would demand explanations for her masquerading as Captain. Tom had excelled at developing highly ingenious stories to explain all the changes without disturbing Chakotay, although the EMH had been dubious about playing along with Chakotay's delusions. Unfortunately the alternative seemed to be heavy sedation since any attempt to make him accept the truth made him hysterical, even violent.

He was in his element now, in the untrodden wilderness, and was delighted when he was told the Captain was giving him one week of shore leave. He taught Neelix how to track animals, fish, build fires and a hundred other wilderness skills. All of which the good little fellow undertook with grace and cheer. The Talaxian was greatly enjoying the experience but would have preferred to sleep in a warm bed rather than a cold hammock.

Chakotay was now sitting on the blanket looking worried.

"Anything wrong?" asked Neelix.

"My animal guide will not speak to me. I can see it peering at me from behind that rock but it will not speak. I thought that here, away from Voyager, it would be different."

Neelix glanced over towards the rock half expecting to see something. "This is not the first time your guide has refused to speak to you?" he guessed.

Chakotay stood up and gazed into the distance towards the horizon where the last salmon pink traces of the sunset could still be seen.

"It has not spoken to me since .... " he stopped speaking.

"Since when Chakotay?" Neelix experienced a sudden conviction that this was important.

Chakotay didn't answer the question. "I should build up the fire for the night. There are a few large beasts down here which I wouldn't like to wake up to."

"Just enough to make it interesting" teased Neelix. Chakotay had tried to explain to the Talaxian city dweller the spiritual importance of predators within the animal world. They were being chased by a particularly large and toothsome specimen at that moment and Neelix remained to be convinced of the necessity for such fierce beasts.

The big man laughed and his tension disappeared. Neelix wasn't sure if this was good or bad. He shrugged mentally and rose to his feet to help Chakotay secure the campsite for the night. The air was already cold, the clear night skies were sucking the accumulated heat of the day from the planet surface. Neelix shivered and wondered what the crew on Voyager was doing. Working he supposed, or sleeping if they were lucky. He yawned. This time on the planet was a luxury. An hour later he was asleep in his hammock curled up against the cold.

Chakotay still sat by the fire waiting for his animal guide to overcome its fear and speak. He dozed off sitting up. When he woke to the warmth of the early morning sun the first thing he saw was a small lizard-like creature basking half-in and half-out of a small pool of water. The red-pink animal hauled itself out of the water and moved nearer and Chakotay kept very still. It didn't occur to him to regard the creature as a potential threat. Some kind of salamander he surmised and then smiled when he remembered that Kathryn's animal guide was a salamander. Something that rather disappointed her he suspected, she would have preferred an eagle or a wolf. He wished she were here.

Neelix was woken by a bloodcurdling howl and sat bolt upright, thinking the camp was under attack from a wild beast. He promptly fell out of the hammock. Cursing mildly he struggled to disentangle his leg from the hammock rope while frantically seeking a weapon. The sudden silence made him stop struggling and he surveyed the surroundings fearing the worst.

Chakotay was huddled in a little ball. For an awful moment Neelix thought he was dead. He stumbled towards him and shook his arm gently.

"Chakotay are you hurt?"

"She's gone." he howled and Neelix felt his heart break again. Kneeling down he lifted the dark head onto his lap and stroked the black hair. Chakotay did not cry although his body shuddered convulsively. And occasionally he would howl Kathryn's name.

"Neelix to EMH and Captain Torres. I need you here. Commander Chakotay has suffered some kind of breakdown."

The two officers acknowledged the request and minutes later materialised close by. Neelix rapidly recounted what had happened. He continued comforting the officer while the EMH examined him.

"Commander did you manage to speak to your spirit guide?" Neelix was very earnest.

Chakotay said nothing and his body continued to shake.

Neelix spoke quietly aside to B'Elanna.

"I rather hoped it was the key. The Commander is a very spiritual person. To be alienated from the spiritual world left him without an anchor. I had hoped that if he could break that barrier then the others would fall also. But acknowledging Captain Janeway's death is a good sign."

The EMH was unimpressed.

"Of course far be it from me to throw a spoke into all that mumbo-jumbo but it could be the change of medication or even the change of surroundings. And we still do not know if this is the road to recovery or another stage in his illness. He is hardly the picture of mental health." He gestured at the Commander who was curled in a tight ball at their feet.

Neelix, ever the optimist, disagreed. "Grief, Doctor, is normal. Now he has accepted the truth I see no reason why he should not recover."

B'Elanna could see the doctor starting to swell with injured professional pride.

"Enough" said B'Elanna. "Neelix take the Commander back to Voyager. Doctor you had better get back to your Borg."

A voice from the ground halted the discussion. "I do not wish to return to Voyager. Not yet." Chakotay had uncurled a little. "I would like to remain here for awhile."

B'Elanna was dubious but Neelix nodded his head at her vigorously.

"Okay" she said. "Neelix would you stay with the Commander?"

"Certainly Captain." He bit his lip at the slip and they all looked at Chakotay anxiously.

"Captain?" he echoed, perplexed.

She sighed "There have been a lot of changes Chakotay. Neelix will bring you up to date. Come on Doctor we must get back."

As she dematerialised the last thought she had on the planet was that her stint as Captain was nearly over. Her first feeling as she rematerialised on Voyager was a sense of loss.

Over the next few weeks B'Elanna was too busy to think. Chakotay certainly wasn't yet fit enough to return to duty. He was still down on the planet. The news of his recovery spread faster than the tirellian flu and before long he had a stream of well wishers turn up at his camp. According to Neelix many of the crew wanted to talk to the former first officer and it often seemed as though he was comforting them.

They had been in orbit around the planet for two weeks and B'Elanna was getting impatient. She wanted to head for the first of the four wormholes for which they had received co-ordinates from the E'vha. It was some six months distant and time was pressing as the wormhole entrance travelled about the delta quadrant. If they didn't get there in the next eight months the entrance would have moved to a location on the other side of the Delta quadrant and wouldn't return to the correct location for another four years. If they couldn't reach it in time it would add another five years to their journey or they would have to hang about in the locality for four years. Neither prospect appealed.

She decided that come hell or high water they would leave in forty-eight hours. Her command crew groaned but accepted the logic. All personnel, except Chakotay and Neelix and a small team of miners, returned to the ship and for two days the crew worked to complete Voyager's refit. B'Elanna worked harder than anyone. On schedule Voyager left orbit, her refit completed and her captain and crew exhausted.

The Captain's ready room

B'Elanna fell onto the chair in her ready room and leaned her head on her desk exhausted. She had been awake for nearly forty-two hours of which the last two were the worst. Reading endless reports and recommendations and requests for priority. The EMH had ordered her off duty for the sixth time and she was finally too tired to resist. "And you are to stay in bed for at least twelve hours by order of the Chief Medical Officer" were his parting words.

A knock at the door made her bellow "Come in and breathe your last."

The door slid open and she opened her frazzled eyes. She lurched upright.

"Tom! What do you want? Can't it wait?"

"I thought the Doc had ordered you off duty."

She looked at him almost too fatigued to even speak.

"Thank you Ensign now get out and turn out the damn lights on your way out." She sat back and considered giving in to the Doctor's orders until she remembered something she had not done. Damn the EMH and damn his orders. Staggering to her feet she lurched onto the bridge doing a passable impression of the Borg two-step.

Tom watched her lumber out of the ready room and exchanged an exasperated look with Ayala.

She slumped into her command chair and mumbled "Computer I want a report on the ...." Her voice dropped to a whisper and her breathing became heavy.

CANNOT REPLY REQUEST IS INCOMPLETE said the computer after a few seconds of silence had elapsed.

"I'll fix you, B'Elanna Torres" Tom sniggered under his breath. "Seven of Nine," he whispered into his communicator, "the captain needs you on the bridge" .

"Acknowledged Ensign Paris" said Seven of Nine.

B'Elanna slowly became aware of someone shaking her awake.

"Captain."

"Oh Kahless, Seven what the hell are you doing?" she squealed as the ex-drone slipped her arms under her torso and lifted her effortlessly.

"I am taking you to bed Captain."

"What!"

An explosion of laughter echoed around the bridge. Humiliated B'Elanna realised she had dropped off to sleep in her chair.

"You fell asleep at your post and are clearly unfit for duty. The EMH ordered you off the bridge and you ignored him. You are confined to your quarters until you have recovered. It is inefficient to have sick officers sleeping on the bridge."

"How dare you, you blasted drone?" B'Elanna struggled against her helplessly, tired Klingon muscle no match for Borg metal. "I can walk damn you."

"I am aware of that Captain" said Seven calmly as she carried B'Elanna into the lift. "Captain's quarters" she instructed.

"I can't leave. Someone has to supervise the final test flight." She was feeling annoyingly secure in Seven's arms.

"I have just completed eight hours of regeneration and am in perfect health. Ayala is also fully functional. We will be enough and certainly more adequate than a snoring Captain."

"Why are you doing this?" wailed an increasingly helpless Captain Torres.

"Strangely there were no other volunteers. It was suggested that you were less likely to succeed in killing me." Seven almost smiled.

"Seven you are making a fool of me" B'Elanna gritted through closed teeth.

"I think you managed that alone Captain." She became more serious. "B'Elanna you have made yourself ill. There is no need for you to be present twenty four hours a day. We are safe, long-range scans reveal no unusual anomalies. The next major civilisation is peaceful according to Mr Neelix The test flights have proceeded smoothly and your remaining injured crew are recovering well."

B'Elanna knew Seven was right but guilt and overwork had over developed her sense of responsibility. The thought of relaxing seemed almost inconceivable. "If you put me down, I will walk to my quarters and stay there" she bargained.

"Swear on your Mother's house."

B'Elanna narrowed her eyes and said nothing.

"Swear Captain or I carry you home."

"I swear......... on my Mothers House." she added the latter as Seven gripped her tighter and became more forbidding.

Slowly Seven set her down. Her knees buckled and Seven rapidly supported her again before she could fall. "I'll be all right. Let me go."

Seven let go, and B'Elanna leaned against the wall as the lift door opened. Two ensigns waited politely outside for their Captain to exit. Humiliated B'Elanna realised she was too weak to stand unaided. "Give me your arm Seven" she snarled furiously. She took the proffered arm ungratefully. "Let's go."

Holding tight to her engineer's arm she was supported back to her quarters. Seven helped her inside. She felt the ex-drone stiffen as they entered the room and guessed at the reason.

B'Elanna had only recently moved into the Captain's quarters and Seven had never visited her there. It had changed very little since Janeway had died. B'Elanna was not much for interior decorating, nor was Janeway. The rooms were much as they had been when Voyager left Utopia Planetia, as they were when Seven had last visited Captain Janeway. Janeway's few belongings had been packed away and B'Elanna's even smaller collection installed in their place.

Seven broke the silence. "What do you intend to do with Harry Kim? He cannot remain confined to his quarters for the rest of the journey."

The sudden change of subject startled B'Elanna and took her fogged mind off the fact that Seven had picked her up again and was carrying her through to the bedroom.

"True but I can't allow a self-confessed murderer to roam the ship without comment." she said as Seven set her on the bed.

"You do not know what to do?" guessed Seven and started to unbutton B'Elanna's jacket. The Captain's breath caught as one pale slender hand brushed her breast while removing the jacket.

Trying to concentrate on her Harry problem B'Elanna said "It's not simple. Severe punishment may be bad for morale. Many of the crew sympathise with Harry." Seven pulled off her left boot. "Hell, I sympathise with Harry."

Seven started on the other boot. And B'Elanna continued to think out loud.

"On the other hand not adequately disciplining him may also be bad for morale and discipline. He didn't give those poor bastards a chance at Federation justice. This is a Starfleet ship and I can't think of a worse betrayal of the Captain."

"Is the death penalty a possibility?" said Seven bending to unfasten the waistband on her Captain's trousers.

"Seven" exclaimed B'Elanna.

"Will you execute him?" said Seven fiercely ignoring the shock on B'Elanna's face and pulling the Captain's Starfleet issue trousers down so quickly that B'Elanna had no time to object but did receive a slight friction burn.

"Ow! Of course I'm not going to execute him" she yelped.

"I am relieved to know that" said Seven straight-faced and lifted B'Elanna into a sitting position and raised the Captain's arms over her head. "So let me understand this. You are not going to release him or execute him, you cannot hold him in the brig or his quarters for any extended period. But you must punish him adequately for his crimes." She lifted the Starfleet issue tee shirt over the Captain's head.

"It seems to me you have only one recourse." She gently lifted B'Elanna off the bed with one arm and pulled back the covers. "Keel hauling."

"What are you talking about Seven?"

The ex-drone said nothing but slid her burden back into the bed, covering the half naked body with the blanket and gazing into dark eyes, heavy and flushed with fever and lust. She bent to stroke the elegant forehead ridges.

The half-Klingon surprised Seven by speaking quite thoughtfully. "There'll have to be a trial but since he's confessed that shouldn't take long. I'm going to bust him to ensign, any prison sentence can wait until we get home. It'll be up to Starfleet to decide what further punishment is required." Her voice drifted off. "Poor Harry - the longest serving ensign in Starfleet."

Seven spoke very softly and sounded a little disappointed, "Keel hauling is more traditional on Klingon vessels Captain, your solution is less colourful but it will suffice." She traced her fingers down the cute little nose.

"So glad you approve Borg." B'Elanna smiled sleepily. "But don't think I have forgiven you just because I let you undress me or kiss me." Seven took her cue and lightly kissed the red lips. B'Elanna closed her eyes.

"EMH to the Captain's quarters." Seven murmured.

The EMH materialised. "About time. Why on earth did it take you so long to get here. Oh I see." Which he did. Seven sat on the bed holding one hand and caressing the drowsy Captain's face.

"The Captain needed help undressing" said Seven dreamily.

"Yes, of course I have no experience of undressing patients. Well I see Mr Paris was right. You were the right woman for this job Seven."

"He's a dead man" groaned a strangled voice from the direction of the bed.

"I will let him know Captain. And now Seven if you will allow me to examine the incredible non-sleeping, non-eating Captain Torres. I will determine how long she is to remain here. It may be helpful if you stay with her for a while."

"What do you mean 'for a while'?" growled the indomitable half-Klingon. "S'not leaving me again. That's an order."

Seven ran her fingers through the dark hair.

"Yes Captain. Understood."

Epilogue

Ten years later

B'Elanna was jerked back from her memories by the sudden termination of the Klingon singer.

"Why are you here B'Elanna?" asked her lover. "You are supposed to be meeting with Chakotay - he is worried about you."

"I was remembering some old stuff. You know what a sentimental old Klingon I am."

"What have I done?" asked Seven of Nine. "You only ever listen to Klingon music when I have upset you."

"Nothing. You have done nothing."

Nika arched her implant nearly to the top of her forehead and stepped forward to put her arms round the small Captain. "Liar."

"Seven you know I do not lie." growled B'Elanna fiercely and pushed Seven away.

The expression of elegant disbelief deepened. "My sweet Captain there is no-one here to impress... Please tell me." The entreaty broke down B'Elanna's resistance.

"You called her name in your sleep. This is nearly the tenth anniversary. I thought you were still ....."

"Still what." Seven became icy. "Ten years and you don't believe in me. A newsflash B'Elanna. She died ten years ago and I have loved you nearly as long. If I called her name it was in a dream but believe me it is only you I think of when I am awake. You are the one who cannot forget."

The still perfect body stalked dangerously to the door of the holodeck.

"We will arrive at Deep Space Four in eighteen hours. I have work to complete. No Starfleet engineer will find fault with Voyager."

Most wouldn't recognise half the components was B'Elanna's unspoken thought. Aloud she said "Nika. I am sorry. I know it's crazy but I still get jealous."

"Then why can't you stay and throw things like any self respecting Klingon spouse? Instead you come here and brood like some feeble p'taq."

"I'm a lousy Klingon. You'll have to trade me in for a better model."

She could see Nika weakening. "I think not. Full Klingons are too hairy. It appears I will have to tolerate you. I will be in main engineering if you require me."

As Seven left the holodeck B'Elanna called after her "And I love you too Dammit. Hey get back here you're supposed to be off duty." Seven ignored her.

Two crewmen passed the open holodeck door and grinned broadly at their Captain. B'Elanna swore furiously. That damn Borg never failed to embarrass her.

Still grumpy B'Elanna changed back into her uniform and decided to do a quick inspection tour before heading back to her quarters for a short rest. She was due back on duty in just a few hours for a double shift that would complete their triumphant return to the Alpha quadrant and probably be her last night as Captain but as usual there was no time to celebrate the occasion. Starfleet wanted them home quickly - their contact with the Delta quadrant an invaluable tool to the increasingly paranoid Federation.

The fact she was still Captain came down to a blunt refusal by Chakotay to accept the position of Captain or even first officer Even after ten years he rarely if ever went on the bridge. Instead he had become advisor and confidant to the Captain. He accepted duties as ship's counsellor, anthropologist and ambassador and he always volunteered for away team duty but he spent most of his off duty time with Neelix cooking up new recipes and trading tales. Which meant a big improvement in meals for the human crew and a downturn for the Bolians. They shared most of their other duties as well. It was a profound, if strange, friendship.

The passage to the Delta Quadrant pioneered by Voyager had revealed a number of threats as well as opportunities and the Federation wanted to ensure that no second front could be opened up. The war against the Dominion had never entirely finished and there was continued low level skirmishing and jockeying for power within the affected systems punctuated by ill-tempered peace treaties. The Dominion was not the power it had once been but it was still very strong and determined to extend its influence by stealth if not by force.

B'Elanna had been a little shocked by the highly militarised perimeter of the Federation. Apparently enormous resources had been poured into reinforcing the Federation's borders. This was not the Federation she remembered. The starships were huge and heavily armed. The officers she had met seemed aggressive and suspicious. She tried to reason that this was a dangerous border and they were right to be careful. An opinion that was reinforced when Voyager was attacked the previous day by local insurgents.

It was now the middle of the graveyard shift and very few crewmen were moving about. As she walked about the ship she considered the changes they had undergone. The crew had largely survived. 135 remained of the original 152. They had even added a few. Tom Paris and Megan Delaney were now the proud parents of twin boys, Harry had followed in Tom's wake and married Jennifer Delaney. They now had twin girls. Several other crewmen also had children.

Seven was making noises about starting a family. Arguments to the contrary B'Elanna had resigned herself - if Nika wanted it then in the end she would have it. That was the family rule. The ex-drone was already considering the mechanics and B'Elanna had an awful feeling that any day now a forty seven page proposal complete with appendices and diagrams would land on her desk.

In addition to births Voyager had also acquired a small contingent of Delta quadrant natives, fleeing wars, governments or just their families. The ship was full to the gunnels and cargo bay 2 had been converted to crew quarters. A total of 164 persons arrived in the Alpha quadrant and 163 entered Federation space.

But they were missing one. Tuvok had been transferred in his stasis tube to a Vulcan transport for conveyance back to Vulcan. The vessel met them several days before, outside Federation boundaries. The Vulcan transport's Captain had further alerted B'Elanna to the changes in the Federation when he let slip that Vulcan was seriously considering resigning from the Federation.

She worried about what Harry would face. The communications she had had with Starfleet Legal were not promising. He was more resigned to his fate but B'Elanna knew Jennifer was not.

She also worried about the reception of her delta quadrant crewmen. The old Federation would have welcomed them openly. The new Federation talked of resettlement and attaining refugee status. They also seemed overly interested in Seven of Nine. Any mention of Nika's human origins was brushed aside. The fact that fifteen other members of the crew retained some Borg components also caused excitement.

Voyager herself was of great interest. The numerous Delta quadrant technologies that they had acquired or adapted had greatly changed the internal layout of the old lady. Not least the significant quantities of Borg technology.

Surprisingly the old Maquis members were not an issue for Starfleet. Starfleet had unhesitatingly issued a blanket pardon. The Maquis had achieved a heroic status after their elimination, as the standard bearers in the war against the Cardassians and the Dominion. As one Starfleet officer had said to her, it was amazing how many people turned out to be Maquis sympathisers once they no longer existed as a credible force.

But heroism aside it was made very clear to B'Elanna that none of the non-Starfleet crew should expect commissions in Starfleet. Only Academy graduates would be considered and even then all returning crew would be reassessed for their suitability.

'So in a few hours I will be just plain B'Elanna Torres, half-Klingon with my ex-Borg girlfriend. The Alpha quadrant is going to love us.' B'Elanna knew she was going to miss Voyager. And she had no idea what she or Seven would do with themselves. Nika had brushed these concerns aside saying brusquely "Our skills will be required, the Alpha quadrant is not a tranquil place. And we can always return to the Delta Quadrant if we don't like it here."

Approaching Deep Space Four

"On screen" snapped the Captain. Deep Space Four lay in front of them glistening in the light of the nearby star system. The bridge crew cheered.

The view screen changed to reveal a small Ferengi in Starfleet uniform.

"Good evening Voyager." he said.

"Since when have the Ferengi been allowed to join Starfleet" sniggered Ayala under his breath.

"I am Commander Nog. I welcome you to Deep Space Four." And the little guy suddenly dropped the serious expression and formal manner and grinned. The crew felt their spirits lift. At least some Starfleet officers had retained a lighter touch.

"I am B'Elanna Torres, Captain of Voyager. Nice to be back Commander Nog."

The Ferengi peered at his view screen. Seven of Nine and Neelix were standing right behind her. "Interesting looking crew you have there Captain. I look forward to entertaining you all aboard the station tomorrow tonight. We have a real celebration planned."

"What about the Federation welcoming committee?"

"Oh that won't arrive for another couple of days. They seem to have your arrival date confused. He grinned even more broadly and then seemed to remember that he had official business. "We have a docking berth ready for you at gateway 5. Please proceed. Nog out."

Senses tuned by years of survival in the Delta quadrant were humming. B'Elanna exchanged looks with her bridge crew.

"What do you think?"

"He is lying" said Seven shortly and placed her hand on B'Elanna's shoulder.

"I'm not sure. He seemed more mischievous than malicious" said Harry Kim in the First Officer's chair.

B'Elanna nodded. "It may be nothing but we will be cautious. Inform the crew to implement condition Blue. Be careful all of you. Tom, proceed to the dock, one-quarter impulse. Take her in."

The Starship Voyager glided gracefully towards the space station through the throng of Starfleet vessels. Many of the Captains observing her arrival felt a jab of nostalgia. She seemed a throwback to a more gracious and elegant past, when curiosity and science drove Starfleet to explore the stars. Only ten years ago, but it was another era, gone forever it seemed. Most of the commanders had served as ensigns on such ships and not a few had to stifle an impulse to warn the captain of the little ship. But no warning was sent.

A few minutes later Voyager settled into the berth and the sound of the docking bolts clamping her in place resounded through the ship. They were home.

The End


( categories: Torres/Seven )
Submitted by Michael Bater on Tue, 02/03/2010 - 23:33.

It's a long time since I have read this story, (probably a year or more), and I forgot how wonderful it was.

Michael

Submitted by jillo on Mon, 11/01/2010 - 02:06.

I haven't read this story in some time--a matter of a few years. What a pleasure it has been just now to reread it! It's still one of the best T/7 stories out there, in my humble opinion. It remains my favorite. Thanks, halfofone, for this gem.

Jillo