summary:

Unacceptable Losses by halfofone
Part 4:
Date added: 2000-10-31 Rating of this chapter: R

disclaimer:

TPTB are many. In a perfect world I would be one of them but it's not and I'm not. No infringement of copyright/trade marks or other intellectual property is intended. This story was written for fun and not profit.

warnings:

Warning: This story includes same sex relationships between women. If you are offended by this or it is illegal where you live or you are underage then please read no further.

Full warnings, credits and disclaimers can be found in the contents page and chapter 1.

text:

Still The Past - Two months later

Captain B'Elanna Torres of the Starship Voyager had finally caught up with Tom Paris. He was off duty and drinking in Sandrines.

"B'Elanna!" he cried. "Just the woman. Have you come to make up with me? I always knew you would come back."

"In your dreams Tom." she joked back. She had ended their relationship more than eight months previously and somehow remained good friends with the pilot despite Tom still carrying a torch for her. Something he never failed to remind her of, even now she was Captain.

"You seem in a better mood Tom."

"Well there is nothing like a glass of whiskey or is it five glasses? ....I'm not sure but it certainly dulls the pain."

"What's wrong Tom. You were an hour late for your shift yesterday. That's the third time this month. This can't go on. I'm going to have to bust you Tom if you don't shape up."

"Ah Captain. Well you know how it is, girl trouble, boss trouble, no friends, family failure. Take your pick. I am as ever a hopeless loser. Only now I'm a hopeless loser without a girl or a friend I can trust. Barkeep! Barkeep! Another drink please and one for the lady."

"Forget the drink Tom. I'm here as the Captain. And what do you mean without a friend you can trust? Have you fought with Harry?"

Tom lowered his voice and the shadow of fear came back. "I can't say." He looked around with big scared blue eyes.

"Tom for Kahless sake tell me what has been eating you for the last few months and I will try to help."

"Not here. In my quarters" he whispered. "Make it look like you and I are going for a cuddle."

"Not possible Tom. I am not one of your simpering girly ensigns. Now spit it out."

"No cuddle. No talk. I mean it B'Elanna I won't talk here. It's not safe" and he managed to look serious for a few moments until a stray thought crossed his brain. "Do Captains cuddle?"

She scowled at him.

"Not with low life like you. I'll come back to your quarters Tom Paris but if this is some lame-brain trick to get me into bed you are going to need more than the EMH to help you."

"A little more affection please B'Elanna. If this is going to convince anyone." He smiled at her endearingly and squeezed her affectionately. Around the bar B'Elanna could see people staring and sniggering. Quite a few looked surprised and disappointed.

"Come on oh beloved Capitano. Let's go snuggle." He said this loud enough to cause three of the engineers drinking behind to splutter on their beers.

"Tom! I may have to kill you anyway" growled the angry Captain in an undertone. Aloud she said "I will escort you to your quarters Ensign where you will remain until I decide otherwise."

Tom took her arm as they headed for the exit. He caught her by surprise when pausing on the way to the door, he bent down and lightly kissed her on the mouth at exactly the second that Seven of Nine entered the bar looking for one of her engineers.

"Captain." said the ex-Borg without expression.

"Seven! Umm yeah. I can explain. I mean Mr Paris and I were ...."

"Kissing is I believe the correct designation for the activity Captain. Explanation is unnecessary."

Tom was watching the exchange with growing interest. B'Elanna was flushed and obviously extremely uncomfortable at the Borg seeing them together. Seven was ... well she was Seven and even less emotional than a Vulcan. Who knew what she was thinking?

Seven switched her attention away from B'Elanna to the three engineers sitting at a table.

"Eight Bells you will be late for your assessment in four point two minutes. Do not disappoint me."

Seven left Sandrines amid roars of affectionate laughter. The promotion to Chief Engineer had changed Seven's status aboard Voyager. And she was popular with her staff. Sometimes it made B'Elanna quite jealous to realise how completely her engineering team had shifted their loyalty to the former Borg drone. It was dumb she knew. Given the chance Seven had shown herself to be a born leader and as Captain it made B'Elanna's life much easier if the department heads were good managers. She wished they were all as good.

B'Elanna's eyes followed Seven out the door. A fact not lost on Tom Paris. She dragged her eyes away to look questioningly at the object of Seven' visit to Sandrines. Eight Bells, a big shy guy, stood up looking sheepish and not a little love struck.

"Promotion assessment. I thought she woulda forgotten, set this up months ago, before she even became the Chief. I shoulda known better. The boss forgets nothing." He followed in his leader's footsteps.

Tom shook his head. "You know the things one sees today. I'm going to have a few questions for you Captain of mine or is it Captain of Nine." B'Elanna glared at him but the alcoholic haze protected him from her righteous anger and he hugged her affectionately.

"Let's get this over Tom and get out of here." They left the bar and B'Elanna felt immediate relief away from all the curious eyes.

"Always so hasty Capitano. Tell me do you make a habit of adjusting Seven's implants or was that a one-time thing." he guessed.

"Lay off the Seven quips and stop calling me Capitano you lush." B'Elanna was genuinely angry now as well as upset about Seven seeing Tom kissing her. Rationally she knew it did not matter. Seven didn't care either way.

"Okay, Okay." said Tom backing down. Then the bone-head surprised her as he often did. "It's not a bad match you and the Borg. Yeah I can definitely see it." He hugged her. "I want to see you happy B'Elanna."

"Tom shut up. There is no me and the Borg. Seven has no interest in me." Tom noticed the phrasing and was pleased at his own insight.

Entering his quarters B'Elanna was struck by the untidiness and the smell of drink. It served to remind her of why she was here and to drive Seven from her thoughts for a while.

"Tom now tell me what's wrong with you. Obnoxious as you are for some reason I still care about you and you are not doing well."

He poured two drinks and offered her one.

"No thanks Tom."

He shrugged and then swigged her drink himself settling down in a chair with the remaining glass.

"He did it."

"Who did what?"

Tom looked away from her out of the porthole at the star field. "He knows that I know. I don't rate my chances. Do you?"

"Tom what are you talking about?"

"I am talking about our esteemed first officer. Mr 'Pure as the driven snow' Kim."

"What has Harry done?"

"He killed them. Remember 'them'. Our friendly neighbourhood traitors."

"Tom you're nuts."

"I have high hopes of going nuts. Preferably before I take a long walk outside the ship without benefit of a safety rope or suit. Chilly and airless so I'm told."

"Tom be serious. Tell me what the hell you are saying and why. Harry is not only a good officer but also our friend. If this is a serious accusation then it had better be good."

"Do you remember the stolen holo-emitter. Harry had it two days before the murder.... in his room. It fell out his closet at my feet when he opened the door. I asked him what it was and he said that it was a science project and very boring. I didn't think any more about it until Tuvok showed it to us after the murder or rather what was left of it."

"Why didn't you tell Tuvok?"

"Because Harry was my friend. My best friend Lanna. The best friend I ever had. I loved him. How could I finger him for doing what every person on the ship wanted to do, including you and me babe? And then as time passed and I thought about it, I realised that it was too late to say anything. How could I explain not having said anything sooner?" Tom slumped down in a chair.

"So why the regrets this late in the day Tom? Seems like you made a decision. Why tell me now?"

"Because I keep dreaming about those bloody headless corpses and god-damn bodiless heads. And he's changed Lanna. He doesn't care. Yeah. it shook him to the core actually seeing the killing but now he doesn't care anymore. He thinks it was okay. Justifiable. Necessary."

"How do you know?"

"Because we talked about it. I told him right off that I knew and that I would stand by him. He cried, said that he didn't know what came over him and asked me how he could go on with that on his conscience. He was going to confess but he didn't and the next time we talked he said it was best for everyone if I just forgot all about it. Said that they had it coming and that if I were a good friend I would keep my mouth shut. You've seen what he is like now. There's nothing on his conscience Lanna. Now he's Super Starfleet again." Tom paused to take another drink.

"I tried to see him today and you know what. He threw me out. Said he didn't want a drunk like me on his ship and I'd better sober up and watch what I said or there would be one less on the passage home. Which is funny really when you think about it, I am the drunk he should be. Like I got his conscience."

B'Elanna was angry but not sure whom she was angry with.

"Let me get this clear. You are telling me that my right hand man and good friend is a psychopathic murderer and that as the only witness to his crime he has threatened your life." Tom nodded.

"What do you think I am going to do now Tom? Bring him to justice? Perhaps I should just kill him and then put myself in the brig. That sounds quite appealing."

Unexpectedly Torres started to laugh. "It's getting to be like the fucking Marie Celeste. The crew is disappearing, the twist is they are going one by one. Ayala was right, hang around long enough on this ship and you make Captain."

Tom was laughing now. Both holding on to each other, laughing as the door opened and Harry Kim appeared.

"Can I laugh too? What's the joke?"

"Oh nothing really. Just something that happened in Sandrines" said B'Elanna calming down. "You had to be there."

She looked into cold black eyes past the superficial smile and realised that he knew exactly what had been said. Poor stupid Tom. The room was bugged. Of course it was. No sane psychopath was going to leave the only witness to his crime without surveillance even if he was his best friend and now she was in it too.

"What brings you this way Harry? Tom tells me you are less than sympathetic to his problems."

"Cut the crap B'Elanna" snapped the first officer of Voyager. "The drunken arse has ratted on me. I knew it would happen one day."

Tom shrank away.

"Strong words for a godfearing officer like you Starfleet. If these walls had ears - Oh I forgot, they have" she said sarcastically.

Harry smiled unpleasantly. "So, what are you going to do now Captain Torres?"

B'Elanna was silent and Tom was cowering in the corner. Harry Kim looked at them almost affectionately.

"Okay let me lay out your options Captain. You can accuse me, and we can have a full Starfleet trial. Your evidence: the uncorroborated word of the ship's drunk against the word of the highly respected first officer. Or you can ignore the whole issue and leave this already unhappy crew with some kind of peace. A difficult decision for an honourable officer like yourself I realise."

"The crew are not at peace Harry. The murder still hangs over them all. Why did you do it? I know you were angry, so was I. I could certainly have used an hour alone with them. But killing like that - it goes against everything you believe. They should have been fairly tried for their crimes.

His dark eyes glittered with hatred and contempt but his voice was calm as he trotted out the justifications he had been rehearsing for so many months.

"B'Elanna, keeping them alive would have been detrimental to Voyager. Detrimental to our chances of success. They would have been a constant drain on our resources, and how long do you think they would have stayed in the brig B'Elanna? How long before it was decided enough was enough? And then they would have been out, mixing with the crew, spreading their corruption. I couldn't allow that."

"So are you trying to tell me that you killed the poor bastards because they were responsible for Janeway's death or because you thought they diminished your chances of getting home?"

"Both. Now you put it that way Captain. Both" he said in a voice pitched high with tension. Captain Janeway did not deserve to die like that. They betrayed us all."

She could see that for Harry the self-righteous anger and the fear had barely faded at all.

"Without her we will never return home B'Elanna? She was our only hope. Look at the last two months - barely 150 light years closer to home. We have had to divert to avoid three different star systems."

"What are you talking about?" B'Elanna was getting exasperated. Those species were not to be trusted. The whole sector was a war zone with added bounty hunters."

"There don't you see. You won't take the same kind of risks as Captain Janeway. She would have found a way through."

B'Elanna threw up her hands. "For Heaven's sake Harry, Janeway was a good captain, sometimes a great captain but she was not a god. She had plenty enough setbacks. We can't give up because of some perverted sort of hero-worship. I can just imagine what she would say to that." B'Elanna stopped to draw a deep breath.

"You had no right Harry just as I have no right to collude with their killer for the sake of a quiet life.

"So that's your decision?" His face and voice had relaxed and he seemed resigned. Perhaps even pleased.

"Yes that's my decision." Inwardly B'Elanna was sick. She didn't want to do this.

"As you wish. Your word against mine then. A true Klingon at heart aren't you B'Elanna. Courageous, strong, honourable and smart. Quite the combination. I'm going to have my work cut out but so are you. I hope you think the fight is worth it."

He was about to leave when B'Elanna said quietly. "Starfleet there is an alternative. ... Confess."

"And why would I do that Captain Torres?"

"To spare your ship and crew" she looked him straight in the eye.

He hesitated and then grinned boyishly, reminding her of the innocent young ensign she had first met. "Nice try B'Elanna but I don't think so. Thirty years in the brig...." he shrugged still smiling.

She grinned back at him. "I'll give you forty eight hours to reconsider Starfleet." He shook his head regretfully and walked out.

Tom rose to his feet, shaking. "B'Elanna much as I love you wasn't that a tiny bit stupid? You have just given him time to organise our premature deaths."

"He has had two months to prepare for this. I don't think a couple of days will make any difference. And to be honest I don't think Harry would hurt either of us."

RED ALERT - ALL CREW TO REPORT TO STATIONS

"Oh hell what now? She tapped her badge. "On my way to the bridge. Torres out."

"Are you fit for duty Tom?"

"I feel curiously sober my dear. The prospect of an untimely death has that effect."

"Well come on let's get to the bridge then. Hurry" she said as Voyager was rocked by some unknown impact.