Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel - 1

halfofone's picture
Submitted by halfofone on Wed, 05/10/2005 - 21:31.

BTVS

Buffy/Tara

Chapter 1

Wed, 05/10/2005 - 21:00

12 or PG13

SUMMARY: Tara has left Willow. Buffy is feeling sorry for herself. They are both fleeing for their lives from the demon of the week
NOTES: This is set in season six. It is a more cheerful fic than the eps in season six might warrant. No need to say that really 'cause amputation of your leg without an anaesthetic would be a more cheerful experience than most of season six!


BTVS is the property of Mutant Enemy. I am just playing with their dolls. TPTB are many. In a perfect world I would be one of them but it's not and I'm not. No infringement of copyright/trade marks or other intellectual property is intended. This story was written for fun and not profit.


Warning: This story includes same sex relationships between women. If you are offended by this or it is illegal where you live or you are underage then please read no further.

Full warnings, credits and disclaimers can be found in the contents page and chapter 1.


A fireball whizzes over my back and past my left ear and there's an acrid whiff of singed hair. My hair. Whoa! You have to give them credit. The demon dimension is really trying to come through for me. I want to die again (third time's the charm) and they want to help me. Would have got my wish this second, except that the 'The Powers That Be' have a wicked sense of humour: saved by an itch on my leg.

'Kay Buffy', I mentally stick a pin in my balloon of self-absorption, 'enough of the dying rap'.

I have to keep Tara safe. Willow will toast my ass if I allow Tara to get even slightly singed and I'm sure that my own death wouldn't help me escape the wrath of Will; she'd just bring me back to kill me again! Willow loves Tara. I know that for certain even if the pride of wiccadom have apparently split up, which is a way weird idea! They seemed to be made for each other, forever. I don't know what happened. Neither of them will talk to me about the break-up and no-one else seems to know what went wrong either.

Another fireball howls past us and whistles me back to the present. Tara is looking pretty scared.

"Hey! Any chance of magicking up some kind of defence type thingie like a shield or a forcefield?" I ask not very hopefully.

She shakes her head and manages to look really guilty as though she should have remembered to pack her anti-fireball spells this morning. "I don't think so. I'm not s..s..sure." She frowns. "Willow would know. I think the dragons are magical... you know... not real."

I peer down the narrow rock crevasse towards the entrance to the chasm. A scaly snout with flaring nostrils peers right back at me. The animal opens its maw, revealing some not so minty-fresh and very large teeth. It roars loudly, expelling a smoky breath; the noise bounces up and down the walls of the small crevasse. Behind the dragon's head I can see the shadowy figure of the beast's rider.

"They look real enough. What I want to know is who are the guys riding them? Did you get a look?" I say this, more for something to say than expecting any useful information. I know the drill. I stagger about in an ignorant haze while my enemies cook up elaborate schemes which I never really understand even when I have defeated them. It is not my job to understand evil; my job is to destroy it. I only have to know enough for that.

"S..sorry." She looks at me, all apologetic again. "Too busy running for my life I guess." A shrug and a shy grin punctuate her apology. I grin in response and start to think aloud.

"Okay so they've got us corked in here... so why stay down there instead of coming in after us? Perhaps they're not much of a threat without their dragons or maybe they're scared of me." I am speculating without really having a clue. Tara's smile fades and I know she's thought of an answer and that I'm not going to like it.

"Perhaps they're waiting for someone else. Maybe someone wants to umm... talk to us."

"A demon?" I sound doubtful 'cause I am. "Talking not usually a strongpoint with demony types. Maybe they want a full breakfast and they just followed their noses." I indicate my Doublemeat Palace uniform. Tara nods and grins at me again. I act all offended.

"Hey feel free to disagree. I don't smell that bad!"

She looks immediately worried and contrite and tries to reassure me. "Y..you smell nice, most of the time." Her blue eyes widen with embarrassment and I want to laugh. "Not that I go around sniffing you. That would be strange and bad and I'm n..not like that."

"You're not? But you are a Wiccan - I've heard that there are folk who think that's strange and bad."

"Not by Sunnydale standards."

"You have a point. Anyway strange and bad are part of my job description; everything in my life is strange or bad or both." I feel the bitter chill of my reality overwhelm me again and finish more harshly than I meant. "Why should you be any different?"

She is hurt by my words and unable to disguise it, although she tries by staring hard at her shoes as though seeing them for the first time. I want to smack myself.

The stiff silence is interrupted by a shrill male voice. "Send the witch out slayer. We will let you go." The accent is odd. Sort of Irish but not.

"Who are you?"

"That is not your concern slayer. Just deliver the witch."

"I'm sorry" I answer as brightly and helpfully as a I can, "making deals with demons and delivering innocents to dragons is not in the slayer handbook but," and I am trying to be helpful here - you should always give your customer an alternative - "I can deliver your ass to hell if that's any use."

The voice doesn't seem interested in my offer. "I am not a demon and she is not an innocent. She is an abomination. I will give you until daybreak to consider my offer. Then you will both die."

"Save yourself the wait shrill-boy. There's no deal. If you want to kill me why don't you try it now?"

"Until daybreak slayer."

I step into the narrow corridor of stone and have to throw myself to the ground as two thin streams of fire streak towards me. I feel the heat pass over my back and roll back into the shallow indent in the rock wall that is providing us with cover. The dragons hiss with what I fancy to be disappointment.

"I guess we won't get out that way. Tara do you have any idea who this guy is?" She is huddled against the cold wall on the other side of the crevasse. "Tara?" She looks up at me and even in the dim light filtering down from above us I can see she has gone deathly pale.

"I'm not sure," she whispers. "Maybe."

"Tara I need to know what I'm fighting, so share."

"I think he might be the Great Wizard; the first of his kind."

"You mean like the very first ever?"

Tara nods.

"What would this great wizard want with you?"

"Not me - I mean - not me in particular. He just hates witches. Women with magical power."

"Not big with equal opportunities then. Just how 'great' is this wizard."

"I thought he was a myth. My mother told me the story when I was a little girl. When I grew up I assumed it was just a story to scare girl-children into being good."

"Were you scared?"

"Yes."

"Were you good?"

She shrugs and smiles weakly at me.

"Yes of course you were."

************

I can just see stars through the narrow gap of the cliffs rising above us. Darkness has fallen rapidly. It's hard to see in the gloom, even for me. Tara must be completely blind.

I have to admit that I'm stuck for any ideas. If I were here by myself I could probably climb out but Tara wouldn't be able to even if it weren't pitch black. No it's probably best to wait for the bad guys to make a move. If they thought it would be easy then I'm sure they would have arrived already so I guess it's a stand-off for now.

Taking advantage of the dark I wriggle across the passage to the gap where Tara is crouching.

"How are you doing?"

"'Kay," she whispers very quietly. I slump down beside her and contemplate our position again. It doesn't seem any better from this side of the crevasse. I put a hand on Tara's shoulder. She is shaking slightly: cold or fear I suppose. Well at least I can help a little. I take off my jacket and awkwardly arrange it arround her shoulders.

"You'll freeze," she objects.

"No way! Slayer thermal underwear, as recommended by a long line of stiff-lipped watchers, for those chilly nights amongst the graves. Doubles as body armour."

She giggles. "Is it sexy?"

"As hell." I put my arm around her shoulders, to conserve body heat.

"You're crazy," she whispers and snuggles against me: warmth, softness and sandalwood and she's stopped shaking.

"Go to sleep" I advise.

"No. I won't leave you to w..watch alone Buffy. Anyway I don't think I could sleep. You can sleep if you like. You need your strength."

I shake my head and then feel stupid - she can't see my dumb blonde little head in the dark - so I add the verbal explanation. "Slayer senses, early warning in case any of the shadowy guys try to push up here ahead of the deadline."

"I can set a protection spell, it will warn us if anyone tries to sneak in."

"Cool," I say, "What's the warning? Thunder, sirens, bells?"

"Just my voice saying 'you have a visitor'."

"Visitor!" I exclaim, amused by the less than intimidating spell. "Shouldn't it at least say 'Halt. Friend or foe?' "

Her voice is shy as she explains. "It's not really a protection spell, I use it instead of a door chime. I can change the message if you like ..."

"No. It's fine. As long as it lets us know that something is coming."

"Oh it will," she assures me. "It works for everything; animals, humans and demons. Sometimes I forget to include kitty fantastico in the exceptions and then it just sounds all day."

"You can't stop it?"

"No but it only lasts for a day. It's okay Buffy, just rest and I'll watch. I'm too scared to sleep yet anyway."

"Nah. Better not. Battle strategy to think about."

"In a little while. Let me take care of you first."

I want her to take care of me. That is not such a little thing to say. For the first time since I was summoned back, the harsh reality that daily buffets and bruises my soul has lost a few of its hard edges. The irony of feeling more human at a moment like this is not lost on me. Somewhere along the line my head has come to rest on her shoulder. She puts an arm around me, to draw me closer and starts to mumble a quiet chant. The gentle cadence and low tone seems to ease my tension and I feel myself getting drowsy. I should stay awake and think of a way out of this but I feel safe, floating deeper into unconsciousness until my senses blur and there is just warmth, softness and sandalwood.

***********

"You have a visitor."

My eyes flick open. Daylight! Where did that come from? My eyes focus on a small brownish shape close to my face. A small rat is looking at me expectantly.

"Ugh!" I squeal and push myself backwards against the rock wall. The rat looks equally startled and runs behind a small pile of rocks. I sit up too quickly and yelp loudly as a sharp pain skewers my stiff neck.

"Ow! I hate sleeping outdoors. Oh and look at my jacket!"

I have been sleeping on it apparently. It's a crumpled filthy mess; yet another article of my clothing has bitten the sartorial dust. I should be called Buffy the wardrobe destroyer.

"Tara did you... "

She's not here. I look around desperately, foolishly. There's only four or five feet of space to search and it would not be possible to hide anything bigger than that rat.

"Fuck!"

Now I don't normally swear but in this case I think it is reasonable. A scrap of paper pinned by a rock catches my eye. As I fear, it's a note from Tara.

'Dear Buffy, I don't want to be any more trouble to you and I know the first wizard will not hurt you if I am not here so I have given myself up. Don't try to rescue me. It will be too late by the time you read this message anyway. For what it is worth you will always be my hero, my family. No one ever stood up for me the way you did. Give my love to Dawn and Willow. Love Tara. PS: please find a good home for Miss Kitty. PPS: be happy, your friends love you. PPPS: I love you.'

"Fuck!"

I snatch up my ruined jacket and start to run down the narrow rock-walled passage not hesitating to worry whether the magician still has his dragon flunkies on guard. There is nothing there. Tara was what they wanted and they had her... or maybe not. I skid to a halt. The rat! Maybe he turned Tara into a rat or maybe she did it herself.

Berating my own stupidity and praying that the little creature hasn't disappeared, I run back up to the dead end. Scrabbling amongst the small rock fall where the rat had hidden, I see a flash of brown and make a grab for the Tara-rat and promptly drop it again as the little brute bites me. Memories of history class and the black death come back to me. Wasn't that something to do with rats? My unusual foray into the past comes to a rapid halt as the rat makes a break for freedom. I throw my jacket over it, scooping it up. It squeaks pathetically and I feel a rush of affection for the poor little thing.

I need to get home, back to Willow and hope to God she can sort this mess out. I set off at a jog, all the while whispering soothing words to the little animal in my jacket, ignoring the curious looks from passers-by, praying not to meet anyone I know and trying not to imagine the state of my hair or clothing.

********

Willow, Xander and Dawn are in the kitchen as I crash through the backdoor. They look relieved.

"Starting to worry here Buff," Xander says, smiling. His expression darkens in slight disapproval as he takes in the lock dangling from the back door. "You might want to review your door opening skills, this is getting expensive."

I ignore him and address Willow.

"Will, I've got Tara here. She needs help."

"Where? She's invisible!"

"No! Rat." I look round the kitchen to find something to place my captive in and eventually settle on a large steel pan. The small rat looks very frightened and I almost forgive it my sore finger. Willow looks at it dubiously.

"That's Tara?"

"I think so. I'm not sure. She was captured by some wizard. I found the rat when I woke up."

"You were knocked out? Are you okay Buffy?" asks Dawn, looking concerned.

"Umm no. I was asleep." I look guilty, well I feel guilty and everyone is always telling me I am an open book so I guess I look guilty and Willow is suddenly a lot less sympathetic though it's Xander who asks incredulously.

"You were asleep while Tara was in the hands of an evil magician?"

"It's not like it sounds. Will, I'm sorry." Her angry eyes are demanding explanation. "We were trapped but safe for a few hours, Tara persuaded me to have a rest and when I woke up I found this note." I give the note to Willow. She reads it with a scowl; when she finishes reading she's not any happier.

"You let her do this? What the hell were you thinking about Buffy?"

"I screwed up I know but we can put this right Will. Well you can anyway... " I finish lamely.

Willow is peering at the Tara-rat. "It's okay sweetie, I'll get you back. Just hang-in." The rat sits up on its hindlegs and squeaks at her. Willow's face softens with love and I have to look away. Remorse, fear and resentment mingle in an uncomfortable cocktail. The remorse I can understand and fear for Tara is still coursing through me; the resentment is just my usual reaction to the pair of them. I'm jealous and I'm never quite sure of whom or why.

"Wait here," Willow snaps at us darkly, "I have to get some supplies. Don't let her escape or eat anything she shouldn't." She stalks from the room and a few seconds later the front door slams. Xander goes out after her muttering about a new lock.

Dawn folds her arms and raises her eyebrows and I feel my hackles rise. It's one thing to be reduced to size by Willow but I am not taking criticism from my little sister. She has just read the note.

"What?" I challenge irritably.

"Messed up this time," she says smugly.

"I don't need you to remind me."

She just grins annoyingly then waves the note at me and looks serious. "Buffy, I don't want you to use this to split them up if they get back together."

"What are you talking about?"

She has my attention now. There was something about that note that I have been trying to avoid thinking about, and I'm still avoiding, but Dawn definitely has my attention.

"Tara loves you."

"Yeah well she loves you too, though that is harder to understand." My breathing is slightly rougher but I'm not about to deny my denial. Dawn has no such hangups.

"No, I don't mean love in the friend way. Tara has a huge, Texas sized crush on you - God knows why - misplaced respect for all that self-sacrificing slayerness in my opinion."

"It's not true." I can feel my jaw jutting painfully, I am trying so hard to be sincere. Unfortunately Dawn is oblivious to my determined innocence. She contradicts me.

"Yes it is. But she is hardly going to tell Miss Straight America about her feelings is she?"

Visions of Tara parade before my eyes: smiling shyly at me as we research, looking pale and frightened when I go into battle, laughing with delight at my more spectacular training routines. I really have tried not to notice how often she comes to watch me train or how much I show off in front of her. Outside of fucking Spike (and how weirded out is that little hell of self-abuse) making Tara smile has been the only comfort stop I allow myself on the slow train to Miseryville. Something I've attributed to a special understanding based on our shared unhappiness: both snatched from heaven - me actually and she from Willow. If anyone can comprehend how alienated I am then that would be Tara. Plus she has always understood me and known what to say even at the worst of times. It's her gift.

"Shut up Dawn. Not in front of the rat. Anyway I don't see why you think I would split them up. I would never do that to Willow and in any case, you're right. I'm straight! I'm fond of Tara but not like that." I think I sound convincing.

"All I'm saying Buffy is be careful, don't tramp around in your big boots and ruin everything the way you always do."

"Oh thanks Dawn. Thanks for the vote of confidence. Willow is my best friend and Tara is ... my best friend's love and a good friend too, and I have very small feet."

"Just as long as you remember."

Her attention is distracted by the rat scrabbling to get out of its metal prison.

"Oh she looks so frightened," says Dawn worriedly, "or maybe hungry. What could we give her?"

"Willow said not to feed her ..."

"An Oreo! What harm could that do? All that chocolatey, nutritious goodness. Please Buffy ..."

"Well I guess so. I don't know what rats eat but they must like cookies."

Dawn is already rooting in the kitchen. She produces a packet of Oreos and tears it open, offering the first cookie to me. Enmity temporarily forgotten, we split the cookie in half and each proffer a piece to the rat. After a few moments of cowering, the little animal twitches its little nose and stretches up to nibble the piece offered by Dawn. After a few tentative nibbles, the rat decides it really likes cookies and the Tara-rat finishes the remainder in a few seconds. It looks at us expectantly. Dawn looks at me and I nod. Twenty minutes later the packet of cookies is half-empty. Neither of us hear Willow return until she is standing right behind us.

"Oreos?"

We jump guiltily and I drop a cookie on the rat's head. She squeaks excitedly - either in terror or gratitude.

"Hey they're harmless aren't they?" Aren't they?" I ask pathetically.

"Yeah but Tara hates Oreos. I guess her rat-tastes are different." Willow shrugs as she watches the rat demolish the cookie and then scuttle round the pan, happily wading in the crumbs.

"Have you got everything you need?" I ask, impatient to get on with this. I want to get Tara back so I can stop feeling wretched about her and go back to feeling wretched about the rest of my 'new' lease of life.

"Mostly but I'm a bit short of dried witch's butter."

"Ew," squeaks Dawn making a noise not unlike the rat. "Is that like... made from witch's milk?"

"No moron, it's a mushroom" I explain smugly. Willow looks as astonished as Dawn. "What? Am I too dumb to know anything? Actually Tara showed me some. I thought ... well like Dawn ... ew..." I trail off feeling a bit sheepish.

Dawn glares at me and mutters irritably "And you call me a moron."

"Can we concentrate here people?" Willow interrupts the sisterly banter. She doesn't sound too patient. "I've pretty much understood this animal transformation malarkey but it can still be hard to reverse. I have to find the right combination of chant and herbs to counter the particular spell used. And there are quite a few to try, so lets get on... before Tara is sick on all those Oreos."

An hour passes and my attention is flagging. Magic is too like chemistry and my lack of ability in that area is legendary. The rat looks equally bored. Dawn is on cover-up duty - since Tara will be naked when Willow turns her back - we are taking turns to hold a large blanket to throw over her at the moment of transformation.

I keep replaying my earlier conversation with Dawn and have just convinced myself for the twenty-third time that Dawn's an idiot and Mom must have dropped her on her head when she was a baby.

Tara can't love me; she wouldn't be that stupid. And I have never, ever been interested in women that way... except Faith... yes but Faith fitted that whole psychotic killer personality type that so clearly attracts me and there was the whole slayers under the skin dynamic. Anyway I hated Faith which often seems to accompany wild attraction for me. Look at Spike. Tara is not a slayer, a vampire, a psychotic killer or a man and I don't hate her. She scores zero on the 'Buffy's perfect partner test'. I feel exasperated with myself. Why am I even thinking about this. It's just stupid. My alter ego folds its arms, cocks an eyebrow, and asks snidely 'Then why does the thought of her getting back with Willow, who is (never let it be forgotten) your best friend, make you so antsy?'

A magical glow from the floor is a welcome distraction and alerts me that we may have struck pay-dirt. There's a flash and Dawn throws the blanket over a body that is forming on the floor. A few seconds pass.

"Tara?" I enquire. The blanket slowly moves and a head appears. A dark head.

"Who are you?" says the stranger at the exact same moment that I say the same thing. We stare at each other. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Willow sinking to her knees.

The brunette looks angry. "I don't know who you perverts are but you can tell that blonde chick that glowy eyes or no glowy eyes she can keep her hands off my boyfriend."

"Amy!" I exclaim angrily and Willow agrees tiredly.

"Amy."

"Then where the hell is Tara?" yells Dawn. "Where is she?"

Hollow aching fear opens up in my heart. Tara is lost. I lost her.

TBC


( categories: Buffy/Tara )
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 23/06/2008 - 02:48.

Whoa, cliffhanger is right! I'm just glad part 2 is now posted n_n
Definitely very exciting story so far. Love the take you put on season 6, it's not often you see a fic from that period in the show that lacks dreary to such a wonderfully complete degree =) Amy was definitely a surprise too, looking forward to seeing where that goes. You know Tara's not dead though, sense she's supposed to get to gather with Buffy. Really like how you brought them together btw, very convincing and fun to read about =)

Submitted by allie on Thu, 13/10/2005 - 19:03.

Now I know how other people feel when I post an incomplete story...
cliffhangers suck - c'mon, you know you can't leave it there! ;-)

Get writing...soon...please?

~allie