Mystery Series Theater 3000

Ashes to Ashes

Disclaimer: This is done for purely entertainment purposes only, no profit is being made or is intended to. This is not meant to infringe upon the rights held by Paramount, Best Brains, or any others. Any other rights are reserved. This was written by a J/7er, heavy on the 7. If f/f themes offend you, you have my sympathy and my recommendation that you find something else to read.

Dedication: First, this is dedicated to Gina L. Dartt. While this has no connection to her "Just Between" stories, I was heavily influenced by her works and you will find tributes to her at various spots. It is also dedicated to all my new friends I have made at Sandrines. I hope everyone enjoys.

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(Sung to the Love Theme to Mystery Science Theater 3000)
Sometime in the Distant Future
Round the end of season three
Voyager found itself in Borg space
Drones as far as the eye could see
Then they lucked out and met a drone
Who got the Collective to leave them alone
But the Queen decided she wanted Seven back
So she tracked down the USS Voyager and went on the attack
Bridge Crew Roll Call
Captain Janeway: "Janeway to Astrometrics."
Seven: "Captain Janeway to Astrometrics."
..and the rest
B'Elanna: "What's this "and the rest" nonsense???"
On Mystery Series Theatre 3000

{Fade in on a black and white shot of a classic style movie theater at night, with the lights lit, but the front vacant of life and obscured by fog as two figures walk into sight.}
Paris (stopping and turning B'Elanna to face him): "If that episode starts and you are not in the theater you'll regret it. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life. I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see the problems of one starship crew don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy quadrant. Someday you'll understand that... Here's looking at you kid."
(B'Elanna smiles sadly and turns to walk into the theater, taking several steps before realizing she is alone the shot of her stopping, as she turns, putting her hands on her hips.)
B'Elanna: "and what about you?"
Paris (the shot jumping to him, as he looks a bit abashed): "This is that part I walk off into the sunset? … Umm fog bank?"
(The shot holds on Paris as there is a pause then B'Elanna's arms are seen yanking Paris out of the shot.)
B'Elanna (just her voice being heard): "and computer, restore color."
{Just as the color returns the scene changes to the theater, with the rest of the crews silhouettes seated Seven on the far left, with Janeway sitting on her right, then Chakotay, Tuvok, Harry two empty seats and then the Doctor.}
(A commotion is heard as B'Elanna's silhouette drags Tom's on screen and dumps him into his seat next to Harry while taking hers between Tom and the Doctor.)
Janeway: "Nice of you to join us Mr. Paris."
Paris: "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
Harry (whispering): "Told you it wouldn't work."
Paris (whispering): "But it was one of her favorite movies, heck it was one of the few she would watch from beginning to end."
{The screen coming to life with the alien shuttle as the scene changes to the female alien hailing the other ship in an alien language.}
Harry: "Isthay pisodeeay siay oingay otay urthay."
Tuvok: "Ashes to ashes" If I were not a Vulcan, that title would worry me."
{She manages to disable the ship with a well-placed shot.}
Tuvok: "Captain? I wish to create a special section of ships security to house our aliens of the week because they seem to consistently out match any and every opponent."
Chakotay: "Of course it will have a high rotation rate as they either get discovered/ sacrifice themselves/ decide to leave."
{She calls up the files on Voyager.}
Paris: "You mission, kill Captain Janeway."
B'Elanna: "Aren't you going to shoot him a glare Seven?"
Harry: "Or just shoot him out right?"
Seven: "Mr. Paris is far more dangerous with a holodeck than he ever could be with a phaser so I chose not to give the comment serious consideration."
{She tries to hail Voyager.}
Janeway (as the female alien): "Be warned, a new episode is on the way."
{The scene changes to Borg Girl looking kind of bored as she hears the transmission.}
Paris (as the female alien): "Come on, pick up, I know you're there."
{Mezoti responds to the transmission.}
B'Elanna (as the female alien): "Is your mother home?"
Seven (as Mezoti): "Which one?"
{The female alien asks for a grown up.}
Tuvok (as Mezoti): "The "grown ups" are clueless, at least as a child I have an excuse."
{The female alien asks to be transferred to Janeway and Mezoti tells her she will try.}
Janeway (as Mezoti): "She is still recuperating after Spirit Folk."
{Tuvok finds Mezoti at the panel.}
Paris: "Uh oh, busted!"
{He says he will settle for a warning.}
Tuvok (as himself): "I find that even my Vulcan discipline can not stand up to "cute kid preciousness."
{Seven asks Mezoti why she did not wait in the cargo baby.}
Janeway (singing as Mezoti): "I'm gunna be like you Seven, I'm gunna be like you."
{Tuvok mentions to Seven about her leaving the children unattended.}
Tuvok (as himself): "Security or parenting, never let them out of your sight."
{Tuvok talks to Seven abut her promising the captain she could maintain order with the children.}
Seven (as herself): "I can not even maintain order with the captain."
{Tuvok talks to Seven about Vulcan children's mental conditioning.}
Tuvok (as himself): "Sure, we can not potty train them until they are 14, but we figure it a worth while exchange."
{Seven scolds Mezoti who explains she is trying to talk to the woman.}
Paris: "Wants to talk to the woman? She's already following in her mothers footsteps."
{She leads them to the female aliens broadcast.}
Janeway: "What is it about young ex-drone girls wanting to show up my crew?"
Seven: "I believe the appropriate question is why they have such an easy time of it?"
{When Tuvok identifies himself as a Lieutenant Commander she remarks on how he must have been promoted.}
Paris (as the female alien): "They must really be getting desperate."
{The female alien tells Janeway she is a sight for sore eyes.}
(Seven throws Janeway an inquiring eyebrow to which Janeway just looks confused.)
{Lindsey tells them she is not surprised they don't remember her.}
Doctor (as Lindsey): "The memories are being retroactively added as I am written into the script."
Doctor: "Oh and on a medical note the purple and gray pigmentation is suggestive enough off dead tissue to risk overkill, pun not intended. I leave those to Mr. Kim."
Chakotay: "I wonder if the head is supposed to be like the mythic ghouls or dybbuks and the like?"
{She tells them she is a reanimated ensign.}
Chakotay: "That poor girl not even DEATH could save her from the series."
Janeway (as herself): "The Doctor did an excellent job preparing her remains. She looks so life-like, you would think she is just talking to us."
{Lindsey asks to beam over.}
Paris (British Accent.): "She's not dead yet."
Harry (British Accent): "She's getting better."
{She says she will not take the level 10 force field personally.}
Doctor (as Lindsey): "Maybe it will give me some protection from direct exposure to the episode."
{Chakotay asks her what she thinks.}
Paris (as Hon Solo): "I try not to kid."
Janeway (as herself): "I think the threat of this series is spreading if not even the dead are safe."
{Janeway says that Lindsey seems to have intimate knowledge of the ship.}
(Seven gives Janeway another inquiring eyebrow.)
{Janeway says they should find out who she is.}
Janeway (as herself) "and warn her away from the episode."
{Harry asks to go with since he and Lindsey were close and he could help identify her.}
Paris: "Harry?"
B'Elanna: "with a girl?"
Doctor (singing): "A re-al girl."
{She tells them about her death in a hirogen trap.}
Tuvok: "Number one, we have an unknown alien on the ship with only the captain, the EMH and an ensign present, which must mean that I am dead. Number two; I was already a lieutenant commander before we encountered the hirogen. Finally number three unless Seven of Nine or Mr. Paris are having us go in circles her shuttle craft must have transwarp ability."
{She says Harry was always a terrible liar.}
Harry (as himself): "I'm not a terrible liar, I'm just grossly incompetent."
{She talks of the aliens telling her they had reanimated her.}
Paris (dramatic announcer voice): "Night of the living ensigns!"
Doctor (as Lindsey): "Turns out I was only "mostly" dead."
{She tells the crew about being remade to look like the Kibali.}
Janeway: "I think she looks kind of cute."
(Seven now looks at Janeway rather intently.)
{She tells them about how they procreate.}
Paris: "Well that's just plain icky."
Seven: "I used to think copulation was inefficient, but even assimilation seems more dignified."
{She tells them she wanted to make contact, to say she was all right.}
Harry: "Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!"
Paris: "Harry?"
Harry: "The captain has more chemistry with her then I do! I mean jeez she and I already have the same taste in women but can't at least ONE of them be attracted to me?"
Janeway: "Now Harry, I have never met Libby."
Harry (sulking): "Yet."
(Seemingly unnoticed by the crew Seven is sitting back into her chair with her arms over her chest, and her legs crossed.)
{She tells them about taking two years to make her escape. Stealing a shuttle to do so.}
B'Elanna (as Lindsey): "I took two years to gain their trust at which point I promptly betrayed it."
Tuvok: "So the "youngest" in the family stole the car and ran away?"
Paris: "Corpse with out a cause."
{The Doctor talks about finding human DNA and comparing it with the sample.}
Doctor (as himself): "If official, its Clinton's."
{Lindsey tells her she understands the paranoia.}
Seven (snapping): "That or she just wants to punish her."
{Janeway lowers the force field and shakes her hand.}
Harry (throwing his hands up): "and she's the first to touch her !"
{Janeway and the Doctor slip out to give them privacy.}
Doctor (as himself): "Of course the window is still transparent."
Janeway (as herself): "So? Its not like anything will really happen."
{She tells him it is she, in the flesh.}
Doctor: "Peutrified, decaying flesh, but flesh all the same."
Harry (gesturing at the screen): "Touch her! Kiss her! Do something!"
{Harry and Lindsey hug.}
Harry (standing and shouting at him image at the screen): "A hug! A HUG! No wonder I am such a LOOSER! A woman I care for is back from the dead and I give her a hug, a hug with less chemistry then that handshake!"
Doctor (standing up next to Harry): "Ensign?"
Harry (dropping down into his seat): "I'm fine! Fine!"
Janeway: "Just remind yourself, "It's not me, It's not me. It's not me."
Seven: "Of course it's not Ensign Kim, it's the captain she can't get enough of."
Janeway (placing a hand on the crook of Seven's arm): "Annika?"
(Seven pulls away leaving Janeway with a confused, hurt expression.)
{In the ready room Captain Janeway says how they are all probably as eager to welcome Lindsey back as she is.}
(Paris leans forward in his seat, looks at Seven leaning back he whispers to the captain.)
Paris (whispering): "That core is about to breach."
{Neelix says he and Paris took her belongings from storage.}
Tuvok (as Neelix): "and recovered the items taken after the customary looting of the dead."
{Tuvok says the he is working to adapt them for a Kibali attack.}
Seven (as Tuvok): "Though Seven of Nine keeps sending them the frequency to transport through the shields."
{Lindsey tells the captain she was surprised the captain noticed her.}
Seven: "Oh she noticed."
(Tuvok stands up and pulls the captain to her feet and trades seats with her.)
{Harry tells her about taking up the saxophone and she calls him ambitious.}
Harry (as himself): "Well I need someplace to channel those tensions."
{Harry says it has been a little strange for him.}
B'Elanna (as Harry): "A woman is actually interested in me that I didn't have to program … or inflate."
{She tells him that hearing him play music is number 26 on her list and he asks her about her list.}
Paris (as Lindsey): "My "Over my Dead Body" list."
{She asks him to not use past tenses.}
Tuvok (as Harry): "Not even to say the episode has died?"
{The scene changes to the mess hall with Naomi and the Borg kids playtime.}
Doctor (thick German accent): "No one escapes from playroom 13!"
{Seven says that fun will now commence.}
B'Elanna: "I wonder if that line worked any better on the captain."
{The twins get caught cheating with their implant.}
Harry: "Well they don't speak so what else can they do?"
Paris: "Cheating" is such an overused term."
Seven: "So they are saying the Collective's normal operations are cheating?"
{Seven initiates a punishment protocol.}
Janeway (pouting): "Punishment Protocols? I've never had a punishment protocol."
{She sends the twins to sit in the corner and the boys rebel.}
B'Elanna: "Well they really are growing into men."
{The screen freezes at the doors open for the break.}

{Fading back in on the bridge the crew is standing about, but shuffling nervously. Seven is standing a bit apart her arms crossed over her chest, with her chin held up in vintage arrogant fashion.}
Janeway (reaching to grasp Seven's biceps): "Seven… Annika, What's wrong?"
Seven: "That living dead girl…"
Paris (whispering off to the side): "I LOVE that song."
(B'Elanna thumps Tom in the ribs while the rest of the crew shoots him a glare.)
Seven: "That living dead girl comes back from the grave and you are all over her."
Janeway (pausing thoughtfully, then continuing softly): "Think about it Seven… high cheek bones, deathly pale when we found her, originally bald, altered by another species… likes to talk back, remind you of anyone you know?"
(Seven's head cants to the side as she seems to consider the captains words. While Janeway steps forward and wraps her arms around the young woman's waist, resting her head to Seven's shoulder.)
Janeway (whispering into Seven's ear): "That Janeway will not admit how she feels about her astrometrics officer. This Lindsey Ballard just reminds her enough of her Seven to attract her."
Seven (resting her cheek to Janeway's head): "and that Seven of Nine has not chosen to follow up on her obvious feelings for that Janeway."
Janeway: "So we can agree while our duplicates were lucky to find each other like we did, we were smart enough to finally do something about it?"
Seven (kissing Janeway's hair): "Agreed."
(After holding each other silently for several moments the realize where they are and turn to look at the rest of the crew, giving them arched looks.)
Janeway: "Seven and I are finished so I guess I should ask if all of you are as well."
B'Elanna: "Since Paris didn't bother to take notes I would guess that yes we are."
Tuvok (behind his security console): "Trust that I am all choked up on the inside."
Harry: "I'll be sure to give Paris a copy of my notes, but later because we have episode sign!"
{Fade from the bridge as the crew boards the turbolift the last shot being of Janeway and Seven holding hands as they step inside.}

{As the scene reopens the crew is resuming the normal seating while the screen comes back to life.}
Janeway: "I'm glad that is straightened out, but now I won't get any punishment protocols."
Seven: "I'll think of something."
(Janeway grins.)
{The screen comes to life with Harry giving Lindsey back her belongings.}
Harry (as himself): "Now if some of your clothes seem a bit stretched out…."
{She tells him she can not believe he kept all of it.}
Harry (as himself): "Well it was the first time in this series a woman was actually interested in me. I had to keep something to remember her by."
{Lindsey shoves her clothes into a drawer.}
Seven: "Kathryn is the same way."
{Lindsey calls Harry obsessive.}
Janeway: "Seven is the same way."
{She tells Harry to have some respect for the dead.}
Tuvok: "Didn't she just ask him not to use past tenses?"
{She tells him that just because she was away for three years does not mean she can not read him like a book.}
B'Elanna: "Anyone can!"
Janeway: "We take great care when taking Mr. Kim on diplomatic missions."
Paris: "In other words, you don't."
Janeway: "Precisely."
{They talk about Lindsey's eulogy.}
Chakotay: "Are we sensitive to these tender moments?"
Doctor: "Or is the dialogue so flat we simply can't get a grip on it?"
{They talk about the Klingon phrase.}
B'Elanna: "Own the day?" Carpe Kaplah?"
Doctor: "Must have been stolen when the Federation and the Klingon Empire were at war."
{She asked if that was when they all burst into tears.}
Harry (as himself): "No that was when they asked for a picture to try to remember who you were."
{Harry says he told them she would want them to attack that day.}
Seven: "I believe the seize/own the day idea has been thoroughly stated."
{She tells Harry he is what gave her the strength to get back to Voyager.}
(Everyone but Harry falls out of their seats.)
{She says she will probably not have much use for her hairbrush.}
Seven (as Lindsey): "Except for the occasional spanking."
{The Doctor calls them saying he has finished analyzing her bio-scans.}
Harry: "Now the Doctor? I haven't even STARTED analyzing her bio-scans."
Paris: "She sure has a cute little bio-scan too doesn't she?"
(Harry glares at Paris.)
Doctor (grinning): "I'll say."
(Harry glares at the Doctor.)
Janeway: "People, people, let's not start turning on each other."
{In Sickbay, the Doctor says he can make cosmetic changes.}
Doctor (singing): "I'll make her pretty, oh so pretty."
{She asks if she will look human.}
Tuvok: "An appearance that is far too over rated, she should try looking Vulcan."
{He says she may experience some dizziness.}
Doctor: "Yes, having me reshape your cranial structure will do that."
Seven: "Yes, I remember having my three quarters of my implants removed caused a loss of equilibrium as well."
{She says she will hang on to Harry for support.}
Paris: "Yes, good ol' reliable…"
Harry: "Another word Paris and I WILL kill you."
Paris: "You've been hanging out with B'Elanna haven't you?
{Her face shifts part way to human and she asks him why he is looking at her.}
Harry (making a brushing motion by his mouth): "You got something on your cheek."
{In the mess hall, Neelix brings a plate to Lindsey and Harry's table.}
B'Elanna: "Oh a knitting kit, nummy."
{She says they ate the same gray paste in the Kibali.}
Doctor (as Lindsey): "It's made from the unsuccessful reanimations."
{She leaves the mess hall to dazzle Lt. Torres.}
Harry: "B'Elanna too!"
Paris: "Sayyyyyyyy."
B'Elanna: "Paris, the day I am with a woman is the day I leave you for her."
{Lindsey uses a Kibali word and B'Elanna asks her to explain it to her.}
Paris: "Should I be worried… or aroused?"
{The big issue made with her using Kibali.}
Janeway: "The crew I left with to chase Chakotay was diverse, and over the past six years has only gotten even more so. I can not see someone speaking in a native, foreign language being that big of an issue."
B'Elanna: "Well captain they are probably just nervous because all the universal translators have apparently shut down before even TRYING to translate."
Tuvok: "That would explain why I could not have downloaded the language for translation while examining the craft she arrived in."
{B'Elanna says she thinks there may be a few more "crumpled dances" in the warp core as well.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "So Lindsey, would you like to dance?"
(Harry growls.)
B'Elanna: "Go ahead Harry, say it."
(Harry chuckles.)
{In astrometrics Seven tries to pass on the children saying how her attempts at discipline only result in more disorder.}
Seven (as herself): "My attempts to administer discipline to Kathryn seem much more effective."
Janeway: "and much more welcome."
{Seven shows Chakotay the schedule she wrote.}
Tuvok: "I thought I was strict."
{Chakotay says that fun can not always be scheduled, that sometimes it has to be spontaneous.}
Seven (as herself): "I will endeavor to schedule spontaneity."
{Chakotay compares Seven to the Collective.}
Chakotay (as himself): "I know that's the way Janeway tried to handle you, but look at how much you had to rebel."
{Paris finds Harry walking down the hall and asks Harry if he is finally trying out Parises hockey program.}
Chakotay: "Hockey? I would think Paris would have a HOOKEY program."
Doctor: "I find that hard to believe considering the number of times I have treated Mr. Paris."
B'Elanna: "I don't know, Paris has a bit of a hidden talent for taking punishment."
{Paris notes Harry and Lindsey are spending plenty of time together, and Harry tell him not to start.}
Harry (as Ren): "Or I will KILL you!"
{Paris lists all those Harry has fallen for.}
Harry (as himself): "and you fell for B'Elanna. I still think I come out ahead."
{Harry says he closed the door on Lindsey and Paris says the door is coming back open.}
(The Doctor makes the creaking sound of a crypt door opening.)
{Entering sickbay Harry finds the remodeled Lindsey.}
Doctor (as himself): "I may not be able to bring the dead back to life, but I can make them look that way."
Chakotay: "It's living taxidermy."
{The Doctor says hair is one of his specialties, despite evidence to the contrary.}
Paris: "He beat me to it!"
{Harry invites her to go skating, but she says she has a date with Janeway.}
(With out a word Harry starts smacking himself in the forehead with his palm.)
{Harry says in 6 years he has never been invited to dinner with the captain.}
Harry (settling back down): "First Seven, now you, what do you have that I don't?"
Seven: "It's more a matter of what you have that Lindsey and I don't."
{In the captain's quarters as Lindsey enters Janeway tells her formal dress was not necessary.}
Janeway (as herself): "It's not like your going to be dressed for long."
{Lindsey says she thought that since it was dinner with the captain she should wear them.}
Seven (as Lindsey): "Seven told me about your reaction to seeing her in a Starfleet uniform…"
{Janeway remarks that she would hardly call it dinner.}
Janeway (as herself): "and I'm not that much of a captain."
Doctor (as Janeway): "Then I realized the Cajun theme went a little TOO well with what happened to your
Neural tissue."
{Janeway says her replicator decided to liquefy the pot roast.}
Janeway (as herself): "Yep one big blackened mass… of liquid."
{Lindsey says it looks fine to her.}
Tuvok (as Lindsey): "It looks just like a failed reanimation."
{Janeway says they will have to settle for sandwiches.}
Seven (seeming thoughtful): "Sandwiches?"
{Lindsey says she lived on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the academy.}
Harry (as Lindsey): "You think YOU are a bad cook? You should see Harry."
{As they talk it's said how B'Elanna called Lindsey's work competent.}
Chakotay: "That sounds more like something Seven would say."
B'Elanna: "Maybe the captain and Seven broke up and Seven and I are now spending time together."
Paris: "and I am in sickbay under a suicide watch."
Tuvok: "That or the script writer is getting lazy."
{Janeway says Tuvok gave her 37 options for repelling a Kibali attack.}
Janeway (as herself): "They seemed to revolve around crosses, wooden stakes and holly water."
{Lindsey says there is something she has wanted to ask Janeway.}
Janeway (raising her voice): "Ok, ok one at a time."
Seven (as Lindsey): "Do you still have that wand thing?"
Janeway (as Lindsey): "Speaking of sandwiches…. Could Seven join us?"
Chakotay (as Lindsey): "Will you respect me in the morning?"
Tuvok (as Lindsey):"You said you would call, why didn't you?"
Paris (as Lindsey): "Has someone been a naughty captain?"
Harry (as Lindsey): "What's that paddle doing in your hand?"
B'Elanna (as Lindsey): "Do you think I'm pretty?"
Doctor (as Lindsey): "Why did you tell me to limber up before dinner?"
{Lindsey asks why she sent her to the mission that killed her.}
Janeway (as herself): "You are a red shirt, it was just a matter of when, not if."
Paris (as Lindsey): "I mean it got me off the show, so I am grateful. I'm just curious."
{Lindsey quotes the Kibali saying to Never harbor anger towards those who brought you death for they gave you the chance at a new life.}
All: "Off of Voyager."
{Lindsey gets up and walks out of the room saying she shouldn't have come.}
Janeway (as herself): "It's ok, we're women we can do it more then once."
All (except Janeway): "CAPTAIN!"
{Lindsey steps from the turbolift into a hallway bathed in bright white light.}
B'Elanna: "Either I have adjusted the environmental controls to blinding or we have a dream sequence."
{In the dream mess hall Janeway says she is late.}
Tuvok (as Lindsey): "Well yes, but that's already been rather well established captain."
{The Doctor says they expected her hours ago.}
Doctor (as himself): "We are trying to get this episode over with."
{Neelix, B'Elanna, and Chakotay tell her she was not supposed to come back.}
Chakotay (as himself): "You were away, free from the series."
B'Elanna (as herself): "What where you thinking?"
{Harry asks her about his eulogy.}
Harry (as himself): "That whole seize the Klingon stuff just bit."
{She says she is not dead.}
Paris (British Accent.): "She's getting better."
{The Doctor says denial is one of the final stages.}
B'Elanna (opening her eyes with her fingers still crossed): "Oh please don't let me be on Voyager, Oh please don't let me be on Voyager, Oh please don't let me be on Voyager, Uh oh."
{Tuvok says it was illogical for her to return.}
Tuvok (as himself): "You were out of the writers influence."
{Harry says he could not save her before, and he can not save her now.}
Harry (as himself): "Nookie aside, I'm only an ensign."
{The Kibali appears.}
Doctor (as the Kibali): "Oh, I just love buffets!"
{Lindsey comes to Harry's room while he's in bed and he asks her what is wrong.}
Harry (as Lindsey): "I am supposed to be your romantic interest and sitting on the edge of your bed right now is the most time we have spent in bed together."
{He says B'Elanna told him she did great in engineering.}
B'Elanna (as Harry): "She had the biggest smile on her face."
{She talks about her dinner with the captain, and Harry tells her the captain made him nervous too.}
Seven (as Harry): "The way she likes to gesture with her riding crop…"
{Harry says he knows it isn't easy, but he will help her through it.}
Harry (as himself): "I know it's scary joining the cast of Voyager, but you are not the first, you are not alone."
{She asks Harry why he is always so nice to her.}
Harry (as himself): "Because you are willing to talk to me."
{Harry confesses his love for Lindsey.}
Harry: "Jeez I may as well be the dead one, all the passion I am showing."
{Harry says he would really like to kiss her.}
(B'Elanna makes the sound of a scream, then running and a door slamming.)
{They kiss.}
Paris: "I'll bet BOTH of them are closing their eyes and thinking of Seven."
{During the baby drones art time Borg Girl says she does not care if Seven will be angry.}
All (but Seven): "WOAH!"
Doctor & Paris: "There's two of them."
{The twins identify the cubes 1/1000th the size of a Borg vessel.}
Seven: "They made a full size one, but it assimilated the rest of the class."
{She reaches the oldest child's shape and she says it is impressive.}
Seven (as herself): "Yet boring."
{The clay covered Borg Girl shows Seven her sculpture of Seven, defending it as fun.}
Chakotay: "Speaking of Seven and B'Elanna… if they DID get together and have a little girl…"
Harry: "Best of both worlds?"
Paris: "Or a terror unlike the galaxy has ever seen?"
Janeway: "All of the above?"
(Seven and B'Elanna shoot Janeway a look.)
{In Harry's room he wakes up to Lindsey sitting on the floor.}
Doctor: "Could this mean?"
Tuvok: "It seems implied."
Harry: "I"
Paris: "Nah."
Harry: "had"
B'Elanna: "Harry Kim?"
Harry: "SEX!"
{Lindsey says they are coming.}
Paris (little girl voice): "They're here."
{The Kibali craft appears and hails the ship saying he is there for Jetliah.}
Janeway (as herself): "Jumbalia? Sorry, Neelix did his New Orleans menu last month."
{He calls her his daughter.}
Paris (Vader breathing & voice): "Lindsey…"
{Changing to the hall Harry tells her she does not have to talk to him and she says it is time to stop running.}
Tuvok: "To the contrary. You are in a Voyager episode. I would suggest you run far and run fast."
Seven: "I guess she decided resistance was futile."
{The scene with the Kibali trying to convince her to leave Voyager.}
All (making shooing motions): "Get out while you still can!"
{At the end of the scene he tells he every life is precious to his people, and that he will not return alone.}
Tuvok (as the Kibali): "Every life is precious, unless they piss us off."
B'Elanna: "Knowing these freaks they'll kill us, then adopt us."
{Harry finds her in the mess hall eating Kibali cuisine.}
Doctor: "Has she been looting my morgue?"
{Harry talks about messing with Tuvok's temple program.}
Tuvok: "Tamper with my holy grounds and I will have to "Get Medieval on their ass."
Chakotay: "Ahh yes, desecrating sacred grounds, always good for a chuckle."
Paris: "Umm it IS just a holodeck."
Janeway: "Two words Mr. Paris, first ones Fair."
Paris: "Understood."
{Harry asks her why she didn't laugh.}
Seven (as Lindsey): "Because it's not funny?"
{They get up with Harry talking of monks to tweak.}
Chakotay: "and spirits to anger."
{Lindsey crumples in pain.}
Chakotay: "The spirits must be getting a jump on things."
{In sickbay Harry asks the Doctor why Lindsey started to revert.}
Doctor (as himself): "Come on, Janeway, Seven, we men don't stand a chance."
{The Doctor says she may suffer relapses for the rest of her life.}
Doctor (as himself): "Unlife, umm undeath?"
{After the Doctor tells her he will have to see her twice a day she yells at him in Kibali.}
Harry (as himself fake tapping his commbadge): "Harry to Torres, we have apparently had a spontaneous failure of the universal translators."
Doctor (as himself fake tapping his commbadge): "Including the one integral to my matrix which can talk to a smart bomb, but is confused by the zombie speak."
{As the scene ends the Doctor and Harry look at each other.}
Harry (as himself): "I'm not getting any more sex am I?"
{In the Kibali shuttle craft Harry tells Lindsey to stop the treatments.}
Harry (as himself): "They said no living woman would want to touch me, it's time I accept that."
{He asks her if she is saying Tuvok and Neelix don't fit in.}
B'Elanna (as Lindsey): "Not saying as much as implying."
{She talks about not feeling right since she has come to Voyager.}
Seven (as Lindsey): "I can't kid myself any more… I'm just not attracted to men."
{Harry asks her about what they have.}
 (As Lindsey Janeway makes a pitying laugh.)
{In the space battle life support is starting to fail and shields are down to 20%.}
B'Elanna: "Toby the Targ must have eaten all 37 of Tuvok's suggestions before I could modify systems."
{Lindsey tells the captain to hail them and tell them they will surrender her, Harry disagreeing.}
Harry (as himself): "You have your drone, now give me my zombie."
{Janeway says she is not giving her up.}
Janeway: "Now THAT is a loaded statement."
Janeway (as herself): "If Seven finds out I lost our new playmate…"
{Harry says Lindsey is not well and does not know what she saying and she says she knows exactly what she is saying.}
Seven (as Lindsey): "I just can't handle another love scene with Harry Kim."
{Lindsey tries to tell Harry goodbye during the space battle.}
Tuvok (as himself): "Fascinating, pathos seem to reinforce ships systems even under constant bombardment."
Chakotay (as Lindsey): "Harry, I'm an alien of the week, you know it wasn't meant to last."
Seven (as Lindsey): "Captain, can you Seven and I make sandwiches one last time?"
Doctor: "Death couldn't separate them, but the script could."
Janeway: "Only the good die young, that's why immortality is reserved for the greatest of evils."
Paris: "Or in other words, this episode is bad hoodoo."
{During the goodbye in the transporter room Harry tells her the comets are tiresome in Kibali.}
Harry (as himself): "Sorry, I meant to say the script is tiresome."
{Harry says he is sorry she didn't get to complete her list, and she says she did the important things.}
Janeway (as Lindsey): "I expected the Captain and B'Elanna, Seven was a wonderful surprise."
{They kiss.}
Harry: "Finally SOME chemistry, even if I seem the one suffering from rigormortis."
[Harry is in the mess hall, holding her hairbrush.}
Harry (as himself): "I guess I'm back to giving myself spankings."
{Harry and Mezoti head for the holodeck to alter Tuvok's program.}
Tuvok: "Interesting, I thought Mr. Paris was the ship's whipping boy."
Chakotay: "Looks like we have to put the holodeck restrictions on Mr. Paris AND Mr. Kim."
Seven: "Disorder is one thing, desecration is another."
Paris: "but it's a hologram, and it's Tuvok, it's funny!"
B'Elanna: "No Tom."
Paris: "but Harry…"
Janeway: "No Tom."
Harry: "I have to go with them on this one Tom."
Paris: "Hey! How did I turn into the bad guy?"
{Harry and Mezoti walk out of the mess hall.}
Paris (as Bogart): "Mezoti, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."
Janeway: "Now let's make a break for that sunset."
{The holodeck reverting to its grid as the crew makes for the exits.}
{On the bridge the crew is lounging in various stations. While at the helm Paris keeps casting nervous glances between Seven and B'Elanna, as the two women share a glance B'Elanna gets up and walks over to the helm. Grabbing Paris she pushes him into a sitting/leaning position against the helm when she processed to give him a full force kiss that seems to liquefy the pilot.}
B'Elanna (pulling away and resting her lips to his cheek): "While the experiments have been a bonding experience for Seven that's all they were."
(Paris seems to tense, a half smile on his face as B'Elanna start kissing his cheek. Only clenching slightly as her teeth break his skin.)
Paris: "Sorry Hon, I just know you have a thing for blonde's."
B'Elanna (pulling her lips from the fresh wound and running the pad of a thumb under it): "Yes, but I picked, and marked my blonde."
(Paris grins, shooing away the Doctor as he approaches with a dermal regenerator.)
Janeway: "Well… that's settled, now I guess we can push the button."
{As they turn to look at Harry they see him entering notes on a padd.}
Harry (looking up): "Oh, right."
{Fade to black.)