Mystery Series Theater 3000

Worst Case Scenario

Disclaimer: This is done for purely entertainment purposes only, no profit is being made or is intended to. This is not meant to infringe upon the rights held by Paramount, Best Brains, or any others. Any other rights are reserved. This was written by a J/7er, heavy on the 7. If f/f themes offend you, you have my sympathy and my recommendation that you find something else to read.

Dedication: First, this is dedicated to Gina L. Dartt. While this has no connection to her "Just Between" stories, I was heavily influenced by her works and you will find tributes to her at various spots. It is also dedicated to all my new friends I have made at Sandrines. I hope everyone enjoys.

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(Sung to the Love Theme to Mystery Science Theater 3000)
Sometime in the Distant Future
Round the end of season three
Voyager found itself in Borg space
Drones as far as the eye could see
Then they lucked out and met a drone
Who got the Collective to leave them alone
But the Queen decided she wanted Seven back
So she tracked down the USS Voyager and went on the attack
Bridge Crew Roll Call
Captain Janeway: "Janeway to Astrometrics."
Seven: "Captain Janeway to Astrometrics."
..and the rest
B'Elanna: "What's this "and the rest" nonsense???"
On Mystery Series Theatre 3000

{Fade in on Engineering. Where we see Vorik standing over a console.}
Vorik: "Vorik to Torres we are set to test the expanded MST protocol access."
B'Elanna (over commbadge): "I know what your there to do Vorik. "Retrospect" is just starting and Seven is already feeling the effects. We have the power reserves for the experiment, and there is no better time then now… engage."

{Fade out of engineering and into the theater. The crew in their normal seats left to right Seven, Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok, Kim, Paris, B'Elanna, and the Doctor. Though Seven is so close to Kathryn she is more in the captains seat rather then her own. The screen flickers as the word "Retrospect" vanishes to be replaced by B'Elanna walking down one of the hallways of Voyager.}
Tuvok: "Worst case scenario" an improvement, but not much of one."
Chakotay: "I have to disagree Tuvok, it's one thing to insult a crewmember, "Retrospect" is an assault on a crewmember."
Harry: "A crewmember, the crew, and anyone with an ounce of humanity."
Paris: "Ironically watching "Retrospect" was our Worst Case Scenario."
B'Elanna: "How ya doing Seven?"
(Seven has returned to sitting in her chair, but still has her head on Kathryn's shoulder.)
Seven (looking up): "Much improved B'Elanna, thank you. This was before I ever joined the crew."
{Chakotay asks B'Elanna if he can walk with her.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "Do I have any choice in the matter?"
{Chakotay says he doesn't like the idea of spending the next 70 years on the same ship with Tuvok.}
Tuvok: "I think 70 years on the same ship with anyone would be trying."
Janeway: "Fortunately the arrival of a certain special someone has shaved decades off that."
(Seven blushes.)
Chakotay (whispering to the captain): "Laying it on pretty thick huh?"
Janeway: "That "Retrospect" rewrote things to make the bastard look innocent. Your damn right I am going to take care of her after the threat of her seeing that."
{Chakotay asks her what she thinks.}
Paris (as Hon Solo): "I try not to."
{Chakotay says he thinks the captain was not winning any popularity contests.}
B'Elanna (catching on): "Well there was the "cutest couple award".
{Chakotay hints to her about the mutiny.}
Chakotay (as himself): "Know what I mean, know what I mean, wink, wink, nudge, nudge."
{B'Elanna asks him if the changes mean a mutiny.}
Chakotay (as himself): "No, we are just redecorating and I want your opinion on color schemes."
{On the bridge Tuvok advises he should stay and help Chakotay adjust to being second in command, and Janeway agrees.}
Janeway (as herself): "I wouldn't trust you to keep my seat warm."
Seven: "Kathryn, your hair?"
(Janeway blushes.)
Paris: "Ahh yes, the "Bun of Steel"."
{Chakotay tells Harry to take the transporters off line for a diagnostic.}
Tuvok (as himself): "Nothing suspicious there. Hum de dum."
{Chakotay asks B'Elanna is she had finished with the internal sensors.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "I hope so since I have apparently been demoted to Ensign."
{Chakotay says to all hands "Let's do it".}
Paris (as Chakotay): "Woo hoo! Ship wide orgy!"
{Chakotay shoots Tuvok.}
Chakotay (as himself): "Oh that was FUN! Prop him up, I want to do it again."
{B'Elanna shoots Harry.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "Now that was a long term fantasy of mine. Finally come true."
{In the turbolift B'Elanna tells Chakotay how shooting Harry rattled her.}
Harry (as B'Elanna): "It felt so GOOD!"
{Chakotay says Harry was only stunned, that they are not going to kill anyone today.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "Not even Paris?"
Chakotay (as himself): "Not even him."
(Chakotay and B'Elanna sulk.)
{Seska appears.}
Chakotay: "Oh no."
{After Neelix switches over Chakotay says they will still need a cook.}
Paris (as Chakotay): "and Neelix too."
{In the cargo bay Chakotay tells Seska it is not the time.}
Paris (as Chakotay): "Later, later"
{Chakotay tells how Paris and Janeway will find Voyager is not waiting at the rendezvous point.}
Janeway (as herself): "I'll just have to head to borg space for another type of rendezvous."
{Chakotay makes his pitch to get crewmembers to side with him.}
Chakotay (as himself): "A quick stop in borg space to pick up a certain drone and were on our way to the Alpha Quadrant."
{Paris walks in and B'Elanna says to freeze program.}
All (but Paris): "Ahh, a holo-episode, WITH Tom Paris!"
Doctor: "Still an improvement over "Retrospect"."
Tuvok: "Yet it still matches an alarming trend."
{Paris says that at least he did not find her dancing the rumba with a naked Bolian.}
B'Elanna (as herself, under her breath): "Of course not, I lock the door when I run that program."
{Paris he says he thought he would have found shooting pool in Sandrines.}
B'Elanna: "Ahh I could use a trip to Sandrines right now."
(Seven, the Captain and B'Elanna sigh in unison. The men look confused.)
{B'Elanna says how she was rooting around, deleting old files.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "Reading peoples personal logs."
{B'Elanna talks about the lengths the writer went to conceal their identity.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "It just lists the name Kayzer Soze."
{Paris talks about how they need to see how it ends before they report it to the captain.}
(Chakotay and Janeway hold up their hands making the stretching motion.)
{The program restarts with Chakotay asking Paris if he can walk with him.}
Paris (as himself): "Would it help if I said no?"
{Chakotay asks if Tuvok is still giving him a hard time.}
Paris (as himself): "Oh man do you know it! There was the time… Oh wait were talking the program."
{Chakotay says how spending the next 70 years with Tuvok makes him sick.}
Chakotay (as holo-self): "and that Paris guy…"
{Stepping into the turbolift Chakotay gives the command "bridge"."
Harry: "Don't they need two more people?"
{Paris says he heard they are planning a mutiny.}
Paris: "Wink, wink, nudge, nudge."
{Chakotay tells him not to believe everything he hears.}
Seven: "Or everything you view."
{Paris says he wants to help.}
Tuvok: "Yes I used a similar strategy to infiltrate the Maquis. The "I know who you are, I know what you are doing, and you can trust me to help you."
{The program progresses as B'Elanna's until Tom tries to warn Tuvok.}
Tuvok: "It is good to see you are distinguishing the demands of duty Mr. Paris."
Paris: "Don't think I wouldn't have to remind myself of that, over and over again."
Harry: "I guess he did as he said and locked down quarters before betraying them."
{Paris tells Chakotay it is not over.}
Chakotay (as holo-self): I know we are barely half way though! Did you have to remind me?"
{It shows Paris and the bridge crew in the brig.}
B'Elanna: "Home sweet home, huh Paris?"
{Paris tells Tuvok they need to do something.}
Paris (as himself): "Commercial break, plot twist, something, the episode is tanking."
{Tuvok says Paris attitude is a sign of improper training.}
Chakotay: "Tell me about it."
Janeway: "You should have seen him before I got my hands on him."
(Seven pouts.)
Janeway: "In a figurative sense darling."
{Tuvok says they are observing the enemy, looking for weaknesses.}
Tuvok (as holo-self): "Looking for plot, story line, characterization."
{Paris asks how long it will take.}
Tuvok (as holo-self): "Six seasons and counting."
{Tuvok says it could take an hour, or a week.}
Tuvok (as holo-self): "Or 45 minutes after commercial breaks."
{Paris asks who writes this stuff.}
Janeway: "Get a name and address, then target with a full spread of photon torpedoes."
{Paris tells Tuvok to enjoy his wait in the bring.}
Doctor (as Paris): "Tell the guards you know me."
{In the mess hall Paris talks about how the holographic Chakotay didn't trust him and gave him grub duties.}
Paris (as himself): "Which sadly enough is better then what he has me doing now."
{Neelix interrupts with him sending an encoded message to Janeways shuttle.}
Janeway (as Neelix): "Paris said the captain was too busy scanning for SOMETHING in Borg space."
{B'Elanna mentions she may have let it slip when doing the Doctors diagnostic.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "15 minutes later holodeck usage tripled, but I didn't think anything of it."
{Harry comes up and asks them about the new holo-novel.}
Paris: "Case in point."
{Making a personal log entry Paris says he is taking B'Elanna's advice.}
B'Elanna (scoffing): "If that's not proof this is fake I don't know what is."
{On the holo-bridge Seska and Chakotay talk about the engines and say B'Elannas on it.}
(Paris draws a breath to speak at which point he is bodily pulled from his seat by an enraged B'Elanna and thrown into the screen with a resounding thud.)
Doctor: "I should treat him… during the break."
{Fade out from the theater as the crew leaves their seats, the Doctor rerouting to sick bay while Tuvok and Harry carry Tom from the theater.}

{Fade in on sickbay, the crew standing around while Tom is stretched out on a bio-bed as the Doctor treats him.}
Janeway: "While this could normally be considered assault it was Mr. Paris himself who observed we operate under relaxed protocols in the theater."
Chakotay: "Besides, it was only an ensign."
(Harry looks nervous and Chakotay grins at him.)
Seven: "Still, it was an excellent throw. I had no idea Mr. Paris was so aerodynamic."
B'Elanna: "Well you have to throw him just right. Luckily I've done it before."
(The rest of the crew looks at her, except Tom who is still out.)
B'Elanna: "What?"
Doctor (standing and closing his tricorder): "Mr. Paris will be fine, apparently he knew enough to go limp."
(B'Elanna draws a breath to comment, but a look from the captain silences her.)
Doctor: "While I would normally be worried if we started assaulting each other in the theater I think in this case an exception can be made."
B'Elanna: "That, and the fact he deserved it!"
Doctor: "Yes, all the same I don't want to have to treat him more then once an episode."
B'Elanna: "I guess I will have to wait until after the experiment then."
Doctor: "Well you will have to wait a little longer, because we have episode sign."
{Fade as the crew exists sick bay, Tuvok and Harry grabbing Tom while the Doctor grabs a hypospray and passes it to Seven while he reroutes.}

{Fade back in on the theater the crew back in their regular seats. The Doctor reaches over and gets the hypo from Seven pressing it into Tom's neck, which causes him to stir.}
{Paris asks Chakotay if he thinks they have a saboteur.}
Chakotay (as holo-self): "I'm not about to suggest engineering's not doing excellent work."
(Chakotay grins at B'Elanna)
{On the screen Chakotay and Captain Janeway argue. She says he is out of uniform.}
Chakotay (as holo-self): "Well it worked for Seven."
{Janeway asks him if he will execute her friends left or just put them off the ship.}
Chakotay (as holo-self): "Six on one half a dozen on the other."
{Chakotay says he was sorry it had to come to this.}
Chakotay (as holo-self): "but it's not like the episode can get any worse."
{Chakotay says he has been reasonable so far and offers to beam over more provisions.}
Chakotay (as holo-self): "I would offer you a tow to Borg space, but if we don't get Seven we will never make it back to the Alpha Quadrant."
(Seven finds she is blushing under the repeated compliments.)
{Janeway tells him she is messing with the wrong woman.}
Seven (shivers): "She is so authoritative."
{Chakotay targets their warp core.}
Chakotay (as holo-self): "Weapon systems and propulsion be damned! They will DIE for doubting I am a man of peace."
{The computer announces an intruder alert.}
Seven: "No matter how capable Commander Chakotay is Captain Janeway is more so."
{Chakotay says she tricked them into destroying her shuttle.}
Janeway (as holo-self): "Yes… that was the key part of my plan."
{Seska says she is trying to free the prisoners. Where it jumps to the brig.}
Janeway (as holo-self): "Another key part of my plan. To free the prisoners, both of them… who were put off the ship."
{Chakotay shoots Janeway.}
(Seven shoots Chakotay a dark glare. Janeway pulls her into an embrace and kisses her forehead.)
{Holo-Paris holds a phaser on real Paris.}
Doctor: "There's two of him!"
Paris: "Feel better?"
Doctor: "Immensely"
{Paris says the incomplete story must be someone's idea of a joke. The computer asks him to clarify.}
Tuvok (as the computer): "No actual humor detected in this series."
{Tom and B'Elanna try to find out who wrote the program. B'Elanna says they were good, Tom says they were sadistic.}
Harry: "Wait, good, sadistic…"
All (but Tuvok): "TUVOK!"
{Neelix joins them and says he discretely questioned everyone he could.}
Chakotay (as Neelix): "Then I made a ship wide announcement, I hope that was ok."
{Paris asks if they remember when it was impossible to keep a secret on a ship that small.}
Janeway and Seven (in unison): "Tell me about it."
{In the conference room after normal business Janeway says she has an announcement.}
Seven (as Janeway): "Seven and I are getting married."
(Janeway gives Seven a full force, fished-faced look of shock.)
{Janeway talks about the new program everyone is accessing.}
Harry (as Janeway): "Its called "Debbie does Starfleet."
{The crew starts confessing to running the program.}
Harry (as himself): "I just run the part where I get to shoot Tuvok."
Chakotay (as himself): "Hey! I get to shoot him."
(Harry and Chakotay feign an argument about getting to shoot Tuvok.)
Doctor: "Can I shoot him?"
{Tuvok admits to being the author.}
Tuvok (as himself): "You are all out to get me and that was my way of preparing for it!"
{Neelix says Tuvok has talent.}
Janeway (as herself): "Effective immediately I am promoting you to episode writer."
Paris: "At least there would be one with them."
{Tuvok says it is a training program for junior security officers.}
Janeway: "Now if there was just a program for training rebellious young ex-drones."
(Seven gives Janeway a playful grin with her trademark eyebrow arch.)
{Janeway says he did not account for B'Elanna's computer skills.}
Paris: "Nyrd chick, Nyrd chick."
Tuvok: "I am impressed with your calm Lt. Torres."
B'Elanna: "I promised the Doctor I would get him later."
Doctor: "Just leave him conscious and he will be able to treat himself."
(Paris gulps and sinks down in his chair.)
{Janeway tells Tuvok to loosen up.}
Tuvok (as himself): "Of course captain, just give me a moment to overcome a centuries worth of training."
{The captain says she is not only the captain.}
Janeway (as herself): "Not only am I a crewmember of the starship Voyager, I'm also the captain."
{She goes on to say they need to write their own programs, music, etc.}
Janeway (as herself): "I am working on a program from a romantic little get away in a Borg Cube."
{Paris offers to finish the program if Tuvok will not.}
Janeway: "Mr. Paris is under orders to never write a holodeck program EVER again."
{Janeway says she can not wait to see if Captain Janeway will defeat the mutineers.}
Seven: "It is a foregone conclusion. We have a date in Borg space and she knows better then to be late."
(Janeway nods vigorously.)
{Paris talks about making it up as he goes along.}
All (but Paris): "He writes for Voyager!"
Paris: "Shall I report to the brig captain?"
Janeway: "Make that an airlock."
{Tuvok says the captain would not execute all the mutineers.}
Janeway: "Writers maybe, mutiny is one thing…"
{Paris says Tuvok should not get so caught up in logic.}
All (but Paris): "He IS a writer for Voyager."
{Tuvok talks about the Vulcan "Dictates of Poetics" and how character actions must flow from established character traits.}
Janeway: "Mr. Tuvok I want you to send a copy of those dictates to the writers."
Tuvok: "I have captain, once a week, for the past six years."
Harry: "It must be taking years to get back to the Alpha quadrant."
Paris: "That's an optimistic way to look at it Harry."
{Tuvok says he will not allow Paris to turn the program into a parody.}
Seven: "What's wrong with a parody?"
Tuvok: "It is far too potent a force to be controlled by Mr. Paris."
{B'Elanna says the story needs a little romance. To which Tuvok says they are not writing a romance.}
Tuvok (as himself): "It is originally a tactical training scenario and I am a Vulcan."
B'Elanna: "Actually I'd guess you have a better sense of romance then Paris."
(Paris winces.)
{Tuvok says he is going to collaborate with Paris.}
Harry: "Ow, looks like a union of heaven and hell."
{Paris suggests a love scene between him and B'Elanna, and B'Elanna scoffs.}
(Paris and B'Elanna look fearful.)
Harry: "Truth can be stranger then fiction I guess."
{Tuvok suggests they find someplace quieter to work.}
(Paris screams and Tuvok shudders.)
Tuvok: "The idea of being alone with Paris creates enough terror to shake my Vulcan training to my very core."
{Paris repeats he is making it up as he goes.}
Tuvok (as himself): "While that may work for your career Mr. Paris it will not apply to our story."
{Tuvok overrides the Doctors controls and sends him back to sick bay.}
Paris: "Finally someone had the guts!"
{Tom says the first thing they have to change the title.}
Seven: "But the ships designation IS Voyager."
{On the bridge Harry notes the transporters are down as well as the COM.}
Harry (yawning): "and the holodeck is sealed off."
{On the holodeck they are in the brig.}
Paris (as himself): "Oh well at least they still have my favorite bunk open."
{Seska says he was expecting Tuvok.}
(Chakotay starts humming Burlesque music.)
{Tuvok tells her there is no more program.}
Seven: "If only that were true."
{Seska says she finished it.}
Doctor: "She added more to the program? She IS evil."
{After Seska frees them from the brig they find the holo-captain.}
Seven: "The captain is there, you will be saved."
{In the transporter room the Captain fires the malfunctioning rifle.}
(Seven makes a distressed noise; Janeway takes her hand to comfort her.)
Seven: "If this Seska were not already dead she would be so soon."
{The holo-Chakotay and holo-Seska kiss.}
Chakotay: "I wasn't that bad was I?"
(All but Seven shuffle and whistle, not looking at Chakotay.)
{Holo-Chakotay shoots Tom.}
Chakotay: "I know that was just a hologram, but that felt so GOOD."
{As they flee the transporter room Tuvok says he has an idea.}
Harry: "I'll take famous last words for $500."
{In the sick bay the holo-holo-doc injects Tom's wound with acid.}
Paris: "We sure that's not the real doctor?"
{The Doctor hits and then chokes Mr. Tuvok, and then throws them both out of sick bay.}
Tuvok: "I think I have to agree with Mr. Paris."
Doctor: "I can assure you it's not me… unless my daydream program is malfunctioning again."
Harry: "No Seven is not there at all. Let alone nude."
(Janeway pouts while the Doctor would blush if holograms were able.)
{Paris says they should go to the mess hall so the holographic Neelix can burn him with a frying pan.}
Paris: "Better that then what he normally is cooking with those pans."
{Tuvok observes Seska must have programmed the holo-crew to attack them.}
Chakotay: "That or between the two of them they have pushed the crew too far."
{On the bridge Harry finds out Seska is responsible for the problems.}
B'Elanna: "It's the Deus ex Bitch-ica."
{B'Elanna notes how the grid will over load if the doors are opened and Harry notes transporters are still down.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "and we couldn't go and say physically sever the power conduits."
Harry (as himself): "and Seska managed to have her program shut down all the shuttles transporters too."
{Janeway says that if Seska could rewrite Tuvok maybe she could rewrite Seska.}
Janeway (as herself): "Now if I could only rewrite the script."
{Paris asks if the Dictates of Poetics has anything to help them.}
Tuvok (as himself): "Yes, in chapter 3. "Rewrite over my dead body" since we are co-authors I nominate you."
{Tuvok says Tom's attempts at humor are hardly constructive.}
Tuvok (as himself): "They are also not funny, and that's coming from a Vulcan."
{At the find the plasma fire in the Jefferies tube Tuvok says that the controls are not responding.}
Tuvok (as himself): "and my arms are not working so I can not manually shut the doors."
{The extinguisher appears and Tom shoots it at the fire.}
Paris: "Captain Proton to the…"
All (but Paris): "Don't even think about it!"
{Tuvok suggests that the crew knows of their condition and is trying to help.}
Tuvok (as himself): "Or it could be both, the crew has heard of our condition and is taking us to the brink to prolong our agony."
{Paris says he is not going to argue with him.}
Harry: "Now THAT has to be a hologram."
{As they are leaving the tubes for Weapons locker 3 the holo-Chakotay finds them.}
B'Elanna: "Deus ex Holo-ica?"
Paris: "At least we have Seska resorting to the writers tactics."
{In engineering Janeway asks where they came from while watching the events on a holodeck on a monitor.}
Chakotay: "Well, I was born in the van of a traveling show…"
Janeway (as herself): "I hope they appreciate that we are stooping to watching an episode of Voyager to help them."
{Janeway says B'Elanna must get her more access to the program or Tom and Tuvok will not make it out of there alive.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "and that's a bad thing?"
{They note the holo-Chakotay is taking Tom and Tuvok to the cargo bay.}
B'Elanna: "I guess Seven really IS becoming the center of the ship."
Seven (adopting her arrogant expression): "and I have yet to arrive."
{On the bridge Harry tells them the transporters are still down.}
Harry (as himself): "Sorry captain, no end to this episode in sight."
{Chakotay is in the cargo bay giving a speech about how it is no longer a Starfleet vessel. Seska coming in and arranging a firing squad for Tom and Tuvok.}
B'Elanna (as Seska): "Don't mind me honey, I just have to kill these guys."
{Chakotay asks her what she is doing, and she replies executing them.}
Chakotay (as holo-self): "Sounds like fun, can I help?"
{Janeway asks for access to the character algorithms.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "Be careful captain they have already been mangled by the writers."
{Chakotay belays the order to shoot them, thinking it is not necessary.}
Chakotay (as holo-self): "Fun, but not necessary."
{Tuvok says they have taken the ship, that they do not need to add murder to the list of offenses.}
Tuvok (as himself): "They will hang you, but only once."
{Chakotay tells them to lower their weapons.}
Chakotay (as holo-self): "Start building a guillotine."
{B'Elanna and Janeway see Seska shoot Chakotay.}
Janeway (as herself): "Ok, save that, and loop it."
{B'Elanna says she couldn't believe.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "Oh my God, they killed Chakotay!"
Janeway (as herself): "You bastards! … bitches … umm bitch."
{B'Elanna says that no matter what the program configures itself that Tom and Tuvok die.}
Janeway (as herself): "Ah well, I guess I'll take an early lunch."
{The ship gets attacked Tuvok gets his hands on one of the firing squads rifles.}
Paris: "Um…"
B'Elanna: "Yeah…"
Harry (waking up): "What?"
{Tuvok says he set the phaser to kill.}
Tuvok (as himself): "Again… the guy didn't do it right the first time."
{The computer counts down to self-destruct.}
Chakotay: "Woah, woah, woah 45, not 4.5."
B'Elanna: "Yeah, it's a countdown, not a race."
{Seska tells them to call of their back up.}
Paris (as himself): "Well they apparently only had ammo for that first volley so might as well."
{After Seska kills herself with the rigged rifle the program ends. In engineering B'Elanna says that it is over.}
(Seven has a satisfied grimace.)
B'Elanna (sighing): "If only that was true."
{Harry says the transporters are back on. Janeway says no rush.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "Late AGAIN Harry."
{In the mess hall Janeway makes a toast to stories with happy endings.}
Janeway (as herself): "and here is to episodes ending."
{When discussing the ship Janeway asks who says Deus ex Machina is an outdated literary concept.}
B'Elanna (raising her hand): "Sorry Tom, I love you, but…"
{Paris says he was glad she didn't come down with writer's block.}
Paris (as himself): "Of course that has never stopped the writers."
{B'Elanna says they need to decide what will be their next literary collaboration. Chakotay says he just doesn't want to be the villain.}
Tuvok (as himself): "Ok, you can be the victim in the murder mystery."
Paris (as himself): "I volunteer to be the killer."
Doctor: "Are we actually suggesting MORE stories?"
(Everyone looks at the doctor in shock.)
Chakotay: "He's right."
Janeway: "Let's get out of here."
{Fade out as the crew stands up and start making the way to the doors.}

{Fade in on the bridge. The crew is milling about, Chakotay looking almost energetic and cheerful while Paris looks like he has just been through a 30mile forced march.}
Janeway: "I must say commander you seemed to have faired rather well for being the villain of the piece."
Chakotay: "Well it wasn't ME exactly. It was a holographic mockery of me. So the episode was a mockery of a mockery, that kind of made it loose its edge."
Paris: "Yeah well it was a mockery of me, 100% Paris."
Seven: "There is a lesson to be learned here Mr. Paris. You and holographic technology do not mix."
Paris (looking hopeful): Does that mean I no longer have to work in sickbay?"
Janeway (pausing, looking thoughtful): "No"
Paris: "Can someone make the hurting stop?"
B'Elanna (starting to speak softer, almost a purr): "I can't make it go away, but I can make it a different kind of hurting."
Paris (tone getting like B'Elannas): "Make it hurt so good?"
B'Elanna: "Exactly."
Harry: "Umm captain, permission to push the button?"
Janeway: "Granted"
(Fade to black.)